Welcome to the Relationship Revolution

krenaiwit

Jul 29

Wifeys + Gentlemen,

Today I'd like to take you all on a trip. I've hesitated on when I wanted to begin sharing this part of myself on the blog, but I think it's about damn time that I speak my truth and welcome all of my readers to the relationship revolution!

Let's leave the black and white behind and welcome some neon into our love lives. Strap in (on?), because we're about to explore the vibey universe of alternative relationship styles.

Spoiler alert: I'm talking about non-monogamy.

While I fully support and believe in monogamy and traditional relationships, a few years ago, I started to realize that many of those values just didn't resonate with me like they used to. We are told that we grow up, meet someone special, swear eternal devotion, have a couple of kids, and chase that picket fence dream together.

But guess what? Love, just like your favorite Spotify playlist, can be an eclectic mix of experiences. Think of non-monogamy and love's indie scene!

Before I break this down (top level style), I want to just take a moment to say that being non-monogamous is not a sexual deviance, an excuse to "cheat" on your partner, or a bandaid for toxic, problematic relationships. Non-monogamist come in all shapes and sizes, just like those who adopt more traditional relationship values.

Imagine non-monogamy as a cozy, flexible startup company in Silicon Valley. It's got room for all sorts of connections, feelings, and encounters. It's not about saying "I want it all" (well, maybe a little), but rather about embracing the idea that love can come in many shades and intensities.

And yes, it can all be legit and heartfelt.

Non-Monogamy: Different Strokes for Different Folks

Just like your fave coffee order, non-monogamy comes in various flavors.

Check it out:

Open Relationships: Think of this as your Netflix account, the one you've had for 10 years. You have your go-to series (your primary partner), but sometimes you want to watch that other show everyone's talking about (additional partners). It's the same with open relationships; you love your partner, but you're open to connecting with others. Usually this involves casual dating and sexual relationships where both partners agree to certain terms and boundaries that protect the foundation of their primary relationship.

Monogamish: Coined by the popular advice columnist and podcaster Dan Savage, 'monogamish' relationships are fundamentally monogamous but allow some level of sexual activity outside the relationship. You love monogamy and are committed to your person, but a little novelty now and then adds some extra zest.

Polyamory: Here's where you're allowed to have multiple faves. It's like your heart has several 'save slots,' each one dedicated to loving someone deeply and meaningfully. Polyamory is all about honesty, consent, and respect among all partners. I personally identify with a more polyamorous approach to non-monogamy in that I believe I have the capacity to deeply love multiple people at once. This isn't always easy and it requires time, commitment, and constant communication, but I believe that love can (and should) be something that is limitless.

Solo Polyamory: This is for those independent souls who love freely and deeply without seeking a primary partner. Picture it as being a 'free bird' in the relationship world. You form loving, meaningful relationships without the added constraints of cohabitation, marriage, or merging finances. It's all about maintaining your individual autonomy while embracing the polyamorous ethos of love.

Swinging: It's like karaoke night; you're with your partner, but sometimes you sing a duet with a friend! Swingers enjoy casual sex with others while still committed to their partner. Many attend group parties, engage in partner swaps, or participate in orgies. Swinging couples often agree to participate in outside relationships, together.

Relationship Anarchy: The wild child of the non-monogamous squad. RAs throw out the rulebook and craft each of their relationships like DIY projects. You decide what works for you and your partners, together, on a case-by-case basis. Many fear relationship anarchy as it can be weaponized to manipulate and hurt others, but at its core, relationship anarchy is beautifully complex and amazing for those who have the ability to stick with the principles.

Is Non-Monogamy Your Jam?

That's like asking if you prefer avocado toast over oatmeal for breakfast, I know.

It's super personal and depends on your vibes, values, and love capacity. If you're feeling the tiniest spark of curiosity, why not give it some extra thought?

Over time, Mr.B and I will be sharing more of our stories and experiences that brought us to this space. I will be digging deeper into my philosophy on love and doing my best to help answer and questions or clarify any misconceptions.

At the end of the day, love is a journey, and there are many paths to take. Whether you decide to travel with a single partner or multiple ones, it's your call. As long as you're being honest, respectful, and loving, you're doing it right.

So, lovely humans, keep wondering, keep exploring, and remember that your love life should resonate with your energy.

Until next time,

Carry on wifeys + gents!

Love,

Remember you are love and you are loved.

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