Is Master A Red Flag?

The Lightkeepers Journal

Jul 28

Online D/S relationships have gained popularity in recent years as individuals explore their desires and engage in consensual power dynamics. While these relationships can be fulfilling and rewarding for participants, it is essential to maintain a safe and respectful environment. One aspect that raises concerns in online D/S dynamics is the use of the term "master" to refer to the dominant partner. The use of the term "master" in online dominance/submission relationships is a red flag that indicates potential issues surrounding consent, equality, the potential for abuse, and lack of lifestyle education thereby compromising the foundation of a healthy and consensual D/S dynamic.

Power Imbalance: The core of any D/S relationship is the power exchange between the dominant and submissive partners. However, it is crucial to ensure that this power imbalance remains consensual, negotiated, and respects the boundaries and limits established by both parties. The term "master" carries connotations of absolute power and control, suggesting an inherent power imbalance that might be difficult to navigate. Online D/S relationships should focus on fostering a balanced power dynamic that prioritizes the consent, autonomy, and well-being of all involved.
Lack of Consent: Consent lies at the heart of any healthy lifestyle relationship. It is a continuous and ongoing process of communication and negotiation. The use of the term "master" can potentially overshadow the importance of ongoing consent. It may imply an expectation of complete submission without the need for explicit consent in every situation. This presumption can lead to a disregard for the boundaries and limits set by the submissive partner, potentially resulting in non-consensual activities and emotional harm.
Erosion of Equality: Equality between partners should be a fundamental principle in any D/S relationship. However, the term "master" can perpetuate a power dynamic that undermines equality. Online D/S relationships should strive to create an environment where both partners feel valued and respected, regardless of their role. When one partner is referred to as a "master," it can reinforce an unequal power structure, compromising the emotional and psychological well-being of the submissive partner.
Potential for Abuse: The use of the term "master" in online lifestyle relationships carries the risk of normalizing abusive behavior. By adopting a title that implies ultimate authority and control, there is an increased potential for the dominant partner to abuse their power. This abuse can manifest in various ways, such as disregarding consent, imposing excessive demands, or engaging in manipulative behaviors. Identifying as a "master" can be an indicator of an individual seeking power and control rather than a healthy, consensual D/S relationship.
Lack of Lifestyle Education: Throughout the history of D/S, the role of master has historically been achievable in two ways. The first and easiest is an individual in a relationship with a submissive/slave who chooses to call them master, however only their partner(s) should be expected to use the honorific, no one else. The second and more challenging way to achieve the mighty M title is a person's community has bestowed this title on them because of their dedication as well as proficiency with a BDSM skill, like Shibari for example, and while some may choose to call this accomplished person "master", its use not required. In either of these methods, the title is earned either through a partnership or dedication to their community, not just assumed by someone signing up for social media.

While online D/S relationships can offer exploration, growth, and fulfillment for participants, it is crucial to maintain a vigilant eye for red flags that may indicate potential issues. The use of the term "master" in an online D/S context can raise concerns regarding power imbalances, consent, equality, the potential for abuse as well as a lack of lifestyle education. Establishing a consensual and safe D/S dynamic requires ongoing communication, respect, and the understanding that all parties have agency and autonomy. By prioritizing the principles of consent, equality, and mutual respect, individuals can create healthier and more fulfilling online D/S relationships.

Why is or is not master a red flag for you?