We're all familiar with love languages – the idea that people experience love in specific ways. Basically, everyone feels loved and appreciated differently. Once you're able to understand how you – and your partner – feels love, you can connect with them in a deeper way. The premise is based on the bestselling book by Gary Chapman, The Five Love Languages, and has become part of our cultural vernacular.
It's so prevalent that you can ask just about anyone what their love language is and they'll be able to tell you. But apparently, we're all wrong. Because instead of five, as Chapman originally suggested, there are seven love languages.
The (Original) 5 Love Languages
Words of Affirmation
With Words of Affirmation, you express your love through words – spoken or otherwise. This language is all about being told you're loved. Words matter, and you want to be praised, either verbally or with a thoughtful note or text.
Signs you speak Words of Affirmation:
- Like to hear "I love you" often
- Feel loved when you receive words of encouragement
- Enjoy compliments and heartfelt love letters
- Want to be told you're appreciated
Physical Touch
Intimacy is incredibly important, but for people with the Physical Touch love language, it's crucial. Whether it's cuddling, holding hands, or getting frisky, you feel loved when your partner is physically close to you.
Signs you speak Physical Touch:
- You're the type of person who enjoys PDA
- Feel disconnected when there's a lack of physical intimacy
- Want your partner to randomly hold your hand, hug you, or kiss you
Quality Time
When it comes to Quality Time, it's about receiving undivided attention. These types want to spend time being with their partner. But more than that, they want their partner to really be present with them. It doesn't matter so much what you're doing but that you're doing it together.
Signs you speak Quality Time:
- Spending time together is your top priority in a relationship
- It's hurtful when someone is distracted or not really listening to you
- When you don't spend enough time with your partner, it's hard for your to be sexually intimate
- Postponed activities or dates are upsetting
Receiving Gifts
One of the most misunderstood love languages is Receiving Gifts. It might seem materialistic, but in reality, it's about the symbolism. For this type of person, gifts represent love. They feel appreciated when someone gives them a thoughtful, meaningful gift.
Signs you speak Receiving Gifts:
- You put time and effort into choosing gifts for loved ones
- Feel hurt when someone doesn't commemorate an occasion with a special gift
- No matter what it is, you feel loved when someone gives you a thoughtful gift
- Special occasions like Christmas and birthdays mean a lot to you
Acts of Service
Have you ever heard the phrase, "it's not words, but actions that matter"? Acts of Service is the love language that embodies that expression. For someone with this love language, it's not about what you say but about what you do. But rather than grand gestures, this kind of person wants small, simple acts that help them throughout the day.
Signs you speak Acts of Service:
- Feel most connected when your partner does something practical for you
- Want a partner to help with chores without being asked
- Notice and appreciate small gestures
The 2 New Love Languages
New research has come out this year to suggest that five love languages aren't adequate. Now, there are two additional modes of love to know about.
Shared Experiences
First up, Shared Experiences. Similar to Quality Time, this one is all about being with your partner. Instead of just being together, though, this love language is focused on finding new adventures to share. While quality time emphasizes focused attention, Shared Experiences is about creating a lasting memory with your partner.
Signs you speak Shared Experiences:
- Prefer to be doing something when you're with your partner
- Want to make new memories or explore new hobbies together
- Enjoy planning new experiences and carrying them out
- Feel closer to your partner after a concert, trip, or event
Emotional Security
Finally, there's Emotional Security. Again, it shares some similarity with other languages (notably Words and Quality Time), but there are some key differences, too. With Emotional Security, you crave soul-baring conversation with your partner. You want to feel seen, heard, and accepted in order to feel loved.
Signs you speak Emotional Security:
- Enjoy having deep conversations
- You like asking a lot of questions
- Feel closest to your partner when sharing fears, dreams, goals, etc.
- Want a partner who will understand and accept you
Have you heard of these new love languages? Let me know in the comments down below!
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