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In meditation, I try to be self-aware. Which is hard and separate from awareness.
You see, in addition to my breath, posture, and thought, there are the me-inside, laden with emotions and ready to pounce. And my goal through meditation practices is to capture the moment, more precisely my transient emotions that burn like a fire and be gone like a wind.
I have no problem with what goes on around me, like the sound of bird singing outside my window, or the ticking of the clock on my desk. I have learnt to quiet the noise in my head, so I can be more aware of my external environments. It is the me within that remains illusive.
Illusive in the sense that it refuses to answer the why's: why I feel this way, why it doesn't work for me, why I can't let go . . . why asks why? And here is the thing, that self awareness is crucial to our relationships and circumstances including the people whom we come in contact with.
Figuring all that is still a long journey ahead for me. And obviously I have my work cut out.
How close is your path to enlightenment? Within your reach?
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