As I type I realize that I am writing after a long time. Well, this was not intended but it just happened and I have been feeling restless, probably because of this! No idea! And to add to it, the unbearable hot weather made me almost paralyzed to do anything productive. So, today, I decided to write anything that comes to my mind, without having a framework in place. Hope you all like what I am going to scribble today!
While I was browsing my gallery I came across this pic of mine wearing a saree. And there is a story related to the saree. So here it goes. This saree is very special as it was my gift to my mother from my first ever earnings. And yes, it was not even my salary because I was yet to be employed then. It was my Summer internship with Hero Honda Motors Ltd. where I was paid Rs 7000.00 after a period of about two odd months and I was a student then! So, this amount meant a lot and I had planned to buy gifts for my family and even my extended family! I can only laugh at my younger self to be so excited to be able to receive that tiny amount of money! But then I have always been someone who loved giving gifts and yes, I love receiving them too! But there has been hardly anyone outside my family who I know, loves giving gifts !! After all, in today's time, I find younger people more focused on leading an individualist lifestyle. Like a coin, it has both pros and cons too. But I will write about it some other day! Let us focus on the saree today.
So, I am aware that many girls from a very young age want to wear their mother's sarees but I do not remember having that craze ever! Nor I am a saree hoarder! Till the completion of my post-graduation ( and maybe many years later ), I had not bought a single saree for myself. Whenever I had to host any function at school or college, I would happily borrow from my friends or from my Mom's closet. But buying a saree for myself never quite occurred to me. My mother loves sarees and so does my younger sister. They have an elaborate collection, unlike mine. I always thought, I am not girly enough to carry a saree or somehow felt that I do not know how to drape a saree properly, so I do not have the right to own a saree! Even today, I just have very few sarees to myself!
But, on this other day, I had a rift with my father, and somehow one thing lead to another and I cried my heart out after proving my point to him. When I could not calm myself, I knew I had to distract my mind and hence this saree flashed in front of my memory, and for the first time, I draped it! The soft fabric felt so comfortable on my skin and a very rare feeling of calmness touched me. There was a tiny little feeling of achievement as well that came along! I do not know the reason though! I wiped my tears as my mother hugged me seeing me in the saree without saying a word. And my little sister, who is my official cameraman was ready with the phone camera to click my pictures. I smiled like a child and put on makeup and glided the lipstick on my lips and was ready to pose for her! After about an hour or so of clicking pictures, and giggling together with my sister, I realized I had become successful in calming myself. So this picture of me in my mother's saree is going to be a special memory and I somehow like it a lot! So, all we can do sometimes is trick our minds and handle a situation. I agree, sometimes it is just beyond our control to do so. But many times, we can!
And, on another note, I really plan to exit this year by being fit and taking care of my health which somehow had been on a decline since the beginning of this year. I had been feeling a little pain in my left foot. But I had ignored it thinking it to be just a regular bodyache. But one day, when in the office the left side of my body was so much in pain that I rushed to my office hospital and then it was diagnosed as cervical spondylitis which had aggravated as I had pulled a muscle near my left shoulder. So, there have been medications and I am currently undergoing physiotherapy sessions which have given me a little relief but the pain still persists and it is the reason why I am unable to type on my laptop or sit at a place for long as my entire back and the left side hurts a lot. So, now the normal sessions will take time and my doctor has advised that probably I will have to undergo needling ( where they will insert needles in the affected area to soothe the pain) so that I recover faster. I am scared but I will face it because I just want to get rid of this body ache which is like a silent killer. Because I look fine from the outside, I smile and take part in the festivities but then only I know how painful it feels within with every muscle spasm! The below picture is evidence of me smiling while undergoing the treatment. ( please excuse me for this expression as I am suppressing my pain to smile while being clicked) I have been denied to access the gym for a few months and undertake very few mobility exercises at home only. My wish is to get cured soon ( which I hope happens because such ailments do take time to subside ) and reduce weight in a healthy way so that I can resume all activities that I want to do!
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I truly hope I am able to achieve my fitness levels ( both mental & physical) and may this year be kind enough to keep me and my loved ones disease free.
Love,
Chinmayee
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