I recently attended an intimate fellowship weekend at Glorieta, NM, Saturday night was reserved for testimonies. My spiritual mentor walked our women's group through something she called Treasure Testimony many years before, and I felt like it was something that we were supposed to do for this weekend. I admit the first time I took part in this, I thought it was a little weird. She had collected random items, under Holy Spirit's prompting and each lady drew out and item. After spending some time in conversation with the Lord, each lady would share.
This was the first time I undertook the collection of items. I admit each time I felt prompted to pick up an item for the treasure bag, I would try to think of how God would use it for a testimony. Some of the items I could come up with a testimony for, but most of the time come up blank. It was very much outside my comfort zone, Most of the women did not know me, so they couldn't even give me the benefit of the doubt that I gave to my spiritual mentor. However, since it wasn't about me, Holy Spirit showed up and showed out. I was so blessed to hear the testimonies of every woman there as they too pondered what God would reveal to them.
There was an empty Cheetos bag in the treasure chest, and one object I had no idea what it was, I laughed as I felt sure God would have be draw one of those two objects out. However, I drew out a package of gum. I remember picking it up at the store, not a brand I like as it has sugar in it. However, it was the only little packet the store offered and I had felt prompted more than once to get gum.
I sat there playing with the package. When I think of this gum, I think of it being sticky. For the last decade, I have been in a sticky mess. Despite what others see, I know I have been stuck. I know I have been held back by my own insecurities and fear, as well as the hurt that cut me to the core.
Much of my early years I spent seeking the spotlight. Then I recognized that the world didn't revolve around me and I started to step back. I had just started to find that happy medium where I was doing what I felt like I was suppose to, allowing myself to dream with God at the forefront and then my trust was broken and I collapsed inward. I didn't stop pursuing God, but I stopped pursuing what He placed inside of me. Although I still prayed for the church to be THE CHURCH, the hands and feet of God in the communities they are placed, I stopped doing my part. I allowed what others did to me to keep me from the plans an purpose I know God created me for and the dreams He placed inside of me. So I knew in part that God was showing me the stuck place I have been living.
As I sat there with the packet of gum, listening to others share their testimony, I decided to pop a piece into my mouth, as well as share some with those sitting next to me. My mouth was dry and so despite it not being sugarfree, I decided to try it. It has been at least a decade if not two since I ate Doublemint gum. I was surprised that it was not actually sticky.
As I listened to the testimonies of the other women, I knew that it was not by accident that I put a piece in my mouth. I knew it was not by accident that He brought me to New Mexico or that He planted me in a church that is unlike any I have ever been in before. It was not by accident that I was here on this weekend, with these women, hearing their now testimonies. God was still showing me, even though I had not been faithful to the dream, He had been.
These women with varying backgrounds and stories, are the hands and feet of God. They are serving in their communities with their gifts and talents. They are not waiting for the people to come to them, they are going out to the streets to the people. They were not being stopped by their history, they were pressing forward with God. These women and their respective churches or groups are living out the dream God placed inside of me. It is not dead. It is not dormant, and I don't have to stay stuck, I am not in a sticky situation anymore. I can chose to be unstuck. I can chose to pick back up the dreams God has placed within me, and help not only myself but others carry out their purpose for the Lord.
I know that God can use the most unconventional ways to speak to His children. He has spoken to me through signs on many occasions. He has used messages and then planted the key words in the mouth of others to reach me. This time He used a little pack of gum from the Dollar Tree to show me that I am not stuck anymore, He has made me unstuck and I get to chose to walk that out.
Stay tuned for those next steps, announcement coming soon!!!
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