RelationDigest

Monday, 1 May 2023

[New post] Finding Your Kind(ness)

Site logo image Lilly posted: " Image Source: Pexels "Too often we underestimate the power of a touch, a smile, a kind word, a listening ear, an honest compliment, or the smallest act of caring, all of which have the potential to turn a life around." — Leo Buscaglia " Seeking Soulful Exploits

Finding Your Kind(ness)

Lilly

May 1

Image Source: Pexels

"Too often we underestimate the power of a touch, a smile, a kind word, a listening ear, an honest compliment, or the smallest act of caring, all of which have the potential to turn a life around."

— Leo Buscaglia

The company you keep matters. In our childhood, we were conditioned to interact with people we naturally found around us (I realize how this sounds, nonetheless, the keyword remains "people"). To develop rapport with those we needn't necessarily have common values to begin with. We were asked to build friendships and connections and nurture them regardless of the perpetual effect they had on us. "Others mustn't be inconvenienced," they cautioned us. In light of rapidly growing bruised hearts and captive minds, one can't help but muse over why one isn't advised to find people of their own kind instead? "We must do good with what is given to us," they continued. Interesting. Why not aspire to be the kind of person we would like to attract and embolden in the near future?

I have observed that quite a lot of people are eager to pass on the baton of insipid hatred from one exasperated human to the other. Like wildfire, gossip, vices, and animosity are vehemently spewed around our little sphere in a monolith universe. But kindness? A momentary pause. Lasting hesitation. We wait for the other to showcase compassion first. Evidently so, when we take the onus of being kind foremost, it becomes second nature to the one receiving in kind (pun unintended this time around). However, it would be naïve to expect others to treat you alike. We are all well aware of the type of world we are currently living in. If good prevails, rest assured, evil lurks around the corner too. Nevertheless, it doesn't hurt to be the torchbearer of an accepted and celebrated mien. Self- fulfilment, in a considerate fashion, is hardly pressed upon these times.

In my younger days, I never contemplated the quality of people around me. To dwell in solitude would sum up eccentricity. Hence, I would speak to others irrespective of who or what they were, in essence. A childlike affinity? Most likely. Unfortunately, like all wise teachings, a great deal of experience veered my perspective extensively. Does one rotten apple spoil the whole barrel? Far worse than you might think. And the scary part? You rarely think that the venerated apple is indeed the rotten one. Blindfolded by personal biases and idealism? A solid possibility. It makes sense to envision the attributes one would like to explore and inculcate in one's self before expecting from another. When you recognize similar qualities in another, the connection just ignites like a house on fire. We are magnetized with the other person's personality so much so that we imbibe an element of their soul. Fusion occurs on a superlative level altogether.

Many are under the impression that the fundamental being of a person changes when associated with people of a certain kind. I would like to revisit this age-old assumption that individuals obstinately latch onto. Choosing to engage with a certain kind is finding people who have organically embodied core values that you can identify with. They are representative of what you advocate and promote inherently. And who says people come with zero baggage? It is humanly impossible. But the heart of the matter lies in dealing with uncomfortable truths in the presence of like-minded individuals who encourage a mindful side of yours. Sharing relatable thoughts and emotions assists in finding solace in another. Supporting one another to achieve greater heights is what a community constitutes. Inadvertently, you are accustomed to a habit that snowballs into a routine. Which is why the quality of the company you keep matters.

Being kind to one's self for unconscious past actions weighs heavily on the fact that your future is decided likewise. Self-sabotage, hubris and ignorance of self only haul you into the deeper ends of an unbridled ocean. Wear kindness like a badge of honour. In a society that judges before understanding, choose to stand distinctly. Co-mingle with people who bring out the best and authentic parts of you that serve a greater value to another. Ah, yes! I am reminded of a recent kindness spent on me by a generous stranger by the name "Tina". For the unaware, I am an active player of the game Candy Crush (prehistoric times — I feel you) on my phone, and I happened to make friends with a good Samaritan. We are complete strangers, yet it didn't stop her from spoiling me with multiple extra lives each day. Childish games, huh? Anyway, the bottom line is, she has re-introduced and amplified the quality of kindness and generosity in me. Just when I thought kind people were an endangered species. Thank you, Tina. You are really crushing it (I couldn't help myself).

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