I've been thinking a lot about the topic of teamwork with Memorial Day yesterday and some of the other things going on in my life and the lives of some of my clients. You may have experienced it yourself when you've been out in public or struggle with your kids and having them not do their homework or disregarding the fact that you're in an important meeting or talk back to you or not listen to you. Independence is great, but what happened to the days where we knew that we had to behave when we were out in public with our parents or that we were responsible for certain things and knew we'd be in trouble or at least disappointing our parents if we didn't do? I don't think having kids who aren't listening to you or don't do what they're supposed to necessarily means you're a bad parent. But I've been thinking about the possibility that it means you haven't fully communicated the fact that you're all on a team together and being part of that team requires teamwork (effort and participation) from everyone involved.
Thanks to sports and even online gaming kids are very familiar with the concept of teams and how teamwork works. But not every family communicates that being part of a family is another team that you're on, and that being on that team means you have responsibilities. Maybe it's as simple as the responsibility to let the dog in and out from the back yard or to clear dishes from the table or to do your homework, just the normal things that kids can be responsible for. But when you make the effort to establish those responsibilities at a young age, it makes it easy to transition to bigger ones as they get older.
If you haven't communicated about the family team, yes it will be a little rough to get everyone into the habit of remembering that they're on a team and participating and pulling their weight, but it is possible and it will make everyone's lives better. Of course it will make your life better because you're not quite as overwhelmed trying to do everything for yourself and all the kids, but it also helps teach kids about responsibility and being a team player which are things they'll need to know intimately as they become adults and have real jobs/careers and relationships. There's no shame in admitting you can't do everything for everyone, nor should you try. The more excited you are about everyone being on the team and everyone supporting each other, the smoother it will get started and quicker you'll see benefits for everyone.
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