The Secrets to More Peaceful Family Gatherings

Laura

Apr 2

We're starting a holiday week and weekend for those of us who are Jewish or Christian, but it's often a time that families, regardless of religious affiliation, take to spend together, using the celebration of Easter as the reason to gather. Holidays and family parties put a lot of stress on the family, and especially on the relationship you have with your partner. I've said it a thousand times, and I'll probably say it another million, the best thing you can do is communicate! If you want to get through the holiday with the most enjoyment, least stress and maybe even a little fun, take the time to sit with your partner and set up some guideline which can include:

1-who
Be clear about who is invited, when they're coming, and why you do or don't feel comfortable about someone attending.

2-venting time
As silly as it sounds, pre-establish with your partner if/when you two can just let it all out. If you're willing to put up with their Uncle for the party, instead of venting about it for the entire pre and post party time, agree that that night after the party you'll get 10 minutes to just let it all out and your partner won't stop you (but they will be allowed to do it as well!) and that will be it.

3-limits
Agree upon what does and doesn't work. Don't pretend that you're going to agree to unlimited drinking and then not be able to deal with the after effects or potential situations that may arise. Agree how long the party will be, what will or won't happen during the party (to a reasonable state), how much will be spent for the party and what will be had.

4-expectations
Check your expectations at the door. Communicating with your partner about the details of the event, each of your participation in it, clean up afterward, transportation and any other things and issues that often come up before the event will help the event, and cleanup be easier.

Taking the time to talk about these 4 things and how the event will go will help you reduce the stress and strain on your relationship during the holiday (both now and down the road at holidays yet to come). What do you and your partner do to help make family gatherings run smoother?

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