The rage is deep within
So deep
Into my spleen
My kidneys
Poison slowly seeping
Into my organs
No doubt about to kill me
It could kill me
My rage may kill me
The feeling rises to my throat and
It feels as if it's closing
My words
I'm choking on
Biting my tongue
Hands shaking
Shaking
Shaking
I'm infuriated
And the feeling is not going away
The rage subsidies for a second and turns into sorrow
Into sadness
Into hopelessness
It hurts to keep in
Tears ready to fall
But I'm not ready to cry
I'm not ready to let it
I'm not ready to give in
So I let the rage build into a crescendo
Until it reaches its peak
like a volcano
And I don't have it in me
To boil over
But I don't have it in me to let it
Settle
No
I'm keeping this lava in me
It's burning
Burning in me
I feel it scorch my insides
And I can't fight it
But I can't let it take over completely
Oh this rage it might kill me
I can feel it like poison in my spleen
Bout to deem
This a wicked fever dream
But no
The rage lives in me
Resides as if my body were its only occupancy
I tell myself to breathe it away
But it is in vain
I'm aching and
It's an emergency
Alarms ringing in my head
A matter of urgency
I need to hurry and spew
The things on my mind
Oh
I need to say the things
I want to say
The words stuck in my brain and
Choked in my throat
No one will ever know
If I don't say a word
I'm hurt
So hurt
I'm hurt
Cause I never learn
To mind my own business
Oh
I'm hurt
Hurt
So instead of letting myself cry
I let the rage kill me inside
Let it burn me
Toxicity
Oh I'm so angry
And the remedy
Is simply to talk about it
To ask
To tell
To say something
But when I open my mouth
The words get caught on my tongue
I let the heat of anger stay like Rum
Humming while
Pouring myself a glass
And watch it inundate my anger
As if it were gasoline
Light it
Into rage
Blind rage
Burning me
~
At night
All alone
Soundless
I cry in the dark
I sob
And I hate myself
While asking why?
Why am I even crying?
So stupid
At night
All alone
I let the anger subside
With a clear mind
Wondering if I should get revenge
If I should hurt the ones that have hurt me
Vengeance
I am tired of games
These things are just wasting time
And are now obsolete
At ages too old to keep retorting to
I let these behaviors be absorbed
In me
And give it back to you
By
Ignoring you
Slowly my fond feelings fade away
Into acquaintances
Into strangers in a matter of days
I have a great deal of understanding
But I choose to be this petty
Cause I'm so angry
So much rage
At night all
Alone
I let myself feel
What the anger hides
And realize
I never wanted commitment
I just wanted someone to stay
For once
I never wanted exclusivity
Romance
Or love
I just wanted someone to stay
Just for once
Stay
And I realize
How hurt I sound beneath
The sass
sarcasm
and spite
Anyone can hear the hurt inside
I tell everyone to leave me alone
Cause it's easier to remain alone
Then get emotionally invested in someone
Who isn't going to stay
Who isn't going to fight
Who isn't going to try
Just go away, if you are going to lie
About staying by my side
Just go away
It's easier to be angry
Cause I don't know what I want anymore
At night
All alone
In the darkness
With no light
It's easier for me to realize
I'm still terrified to let anyone inside
I'm terrified
And I can't bring myself to fall in love
I don't want to fall in love
I don't want to love at all.
No one come closer
Just stay away
So I let the rage take hold of me
Once again
And let it kill me from the inside.
Letting my heart be used for just pumping
blood around me body as my heart beats not for a someone
But to keep me alive
While letting the anger eat at me
It might kill me
My rage might kill me.
The rage is deep within
So deep
Into my spleen
My kidneys
Poison slowly seeping
Into my organs
No doubt about to kill me
It could kill me
My rage may kill me
The feeling rises to my throat and
It feels as if it's closing
My words
I'm choking on
Biting my tongue
Hands shaking
Shaking
Shaking
I'm infuriated
And the feeling is not going away
The rage subsidies for a second and turns into sorrow
Into sadness
Into hopelessness
It hurts to keep in
Tears ready to fall
But I'm not ready to cry
I'm not ready to let it
I'm not ready to give in
So I let the rage build into a crescendo
Until it reaches its peak
like a volcano
And I don't have it in me
To boil over
But I don't have it in me to let it
Settle
No
I'm keeping this lava in me
It's burning
Burning in me
I feel it scorch my insides
And I can't fight it
But I can't let it take over completely
Oh this rage it might kill me
I can feel it like poison in my spleen
Bout to deem
This a wicked fever dream
But no
The rage lives in me
Resides as if my body were its only occupancy
I tell myself to breathe it away
But it is in vain
I'm aching and
It's an emergency
Alarms ringing in my head
A matter of urgency
I need to hurry and spew
The things on my mind
Oh
I need to say the things
I want to say
The words stuck in my brain and
Choked in my throat
No one will ever know
If I don't say a word
I'm hurt
So hurt
I'm hurt
Cause I never learn
To mind my own business
Oh
I'm hurt
Hurt
So instead of letting myself cry
I let the rage kill me inside
Let it burn me
Toxicity
Oh I'm so angry
And the remedy
Is simply to talk about it
To ask
To tell
To say something
But when I open my mouth
The words get caught on my tongue
I let the heat of anger stay like Rum
Humming while
Pouring myself a glass
And watch it inundate my anger
As if it were gasoline
Light it
Into rage
Blind rage
Burning me
~
At night
All alone
Soundless
I cry in the dark
I sob
And I hate myself
While asking why?
Why am I even crying?
So stupid
At night
All alone
I let the anger subside
With a clear mind
Wondering if I should get revenge
If I should hurt the ones that have hurt me
Vengeance
I am tired of games
These things are just wasting time
And are now obsolete
At ages too old to keep retorting to
I let these behaviors be absorbed
In me
And give it back to you
By
Ignoring you
Slowly my fond feelings fade away
Into acquaintances
Into strangers in a matter of days
I have a great deal of understanding
But I choose to be this petty
Cause I'm so angry
So much rage
At night all
Alone
I let myself feel
What the anger hides
And realize
I never wanted commitment
I just wanted someone to stay
For once
I never wanted exclusivity
Romance
Or love
I just wanted someone to stay
Just for once
Stay
And I realize
How hurt I sound beneath
The sass
sarcasm
and spite
Anyone can hear the hurt inside
I tell everyone to leave me alone
Cause it's easier to remain alone
Then get emotionally invested in someone
Who isn't going to stay
Who isn't going to fight
Who isn't going to try
Just go away, if you are going to lie
About staying by my side
Just go away
It's easier to be angry
Cause I don't know what I want anymore
At night
All alone
In the darkness
With no light
It's easier for me to realize
I'm still terrified to let anyone inside
I'm terrified
And I can't bring myself to fall in love
I don't want to fall in love
I don't want to love at all.
No one come closer
Just stay away
So I let the rage take hold of me
Once again
And let it kill me from the inside.
Letting my heart be used for just pumping
blood around me body as my heart beats not for a someone
But to keep me alive
While letting the anger eat at me
It might kill me
My rage might kill me.
No comments:
Post a Comment