Dear Deborah,
What a beautiful biblical name. When I read of Deborah, the judge, it brings up a picture of a woman who must have been exceptional for God to choose her to lead the Israelite's to battle. Methinks, that the name is associated with fighting battles. I hope you fight the right battles and come out victorious.
I have chosen to relay my feelings in this letter because I feel the need to express myself as I was deeply hurt by your sentiments.
I recall as though it were yesterday when I received your call and I carry a heavy shame knowing that I had caused you sleepless nights. 'Do you know who I am?" you asked. I reiterated with fear, "No". I am Deborah, Marks's husband and I am calling to tell you to stay away from my husband. At this point my entire body froze and I had so many words at my disposal but I said 'okay'.
I would do a great disservice to myself if I never came forward to defend ME. From your tone, it seemed as though you had concluded that I was coming in-between your UNION. I would not want to leave any gaps as I narrate how I met your husband and what seemingly transpired.
I met Mark while I was in an internship program at the organization he works. I was requested by my supervisor to go and assist in another department as they were closely linked, requiring an extra pair of hands. As I was performing my tasks, Mark noticed that my face wasn't familiar thus going ahead to interrogate me as any head of a department would do. He inquired who I was and went on to give a compliment on how he was fascinated by my beauty. I was glad just as any woman would do. The allocated allocated would be finalized within a week meaning I had to bump into him daily.
I was professional as my main aim was also to create an impression of hard work and focus therefore not wanting to get my reputation muddied. Neither did I have any plan of having an office romance. As I was working, he passed a small note that had his contacts and his name. He never revealed any details but the message was crystal clear. Never did I go to the extreme as I would not want to add any fuel to the small fire.
My duties came to an end and I reported back to my initial office station. As if not enough, he found me here and inquired why I had not done the necessary. I was compelled to do it furthermore it wouldn't cause any harm but I look back and wish I did not. That is what has brought me here.
We began to converse but from my side I was disinterested and he seemed to be doing more than he shouldn't do for a married man. The long messages professing his unending love and how I was occupying his dreams. How true that was, I do not know and wouldn't want to. He invited me to his office one day and we had a conversation that went to the extreme and I do regret it. He would later offer to buy me lunch by 'tipping' me off.
I'd say he exerted admirable effort that I would have wanted from a man of my age. But I knew better and that was, I would be there for a season. In the long run, I would be tossed away after satisfying his insatiable needs and another would be let in. With this in my mind, the agenda became, how I would continue to benefit monetarily without having to place myself on the table but that was impossible. Buying lunch was often but not constant and sadly or goodly, I left the organization after the expiration of my contract. He expressed his disappointment wishing that he had met me a little bit earlier.
As I was leaving, he was persistent in confessing his love probably thinking that he would access my chambers. I had already made a line on the ground with my 6-inch heel that we were not going to cross. He sold me promises of how he would treat me as a princess and he wanted us to take a trip to Mombasa, 'just to have fun'. Well, he had orchestrated plans and seemed to look forward to how many layers he would unravel but that would remain a dream.
We kept in touch but he was moving overboard by oversharing. I know this is what might have triggered your emotions. But before we go there, once I left the organization, after one month I went to visit my former colleague thus bumping into him. At this point, he was alone in his office and was excited to host me. I would offend you if I did not write in full honesty and it would be pointless to write this letter.
We had conversations about what my next plan would be and he assured me that he would help me, secure a job opportunity. This was the only main reason why I would have maintained contact with Mark. Remember my agenda is to get what I can without losing myself: if you know what I mean. But the reality is that they are 10 steps ahead. If any feelings would have been generated for him, it was if he would have helped me secure a job opportunity in the absence of placing myself on the table. That would be of assurance he genuinely cared. But we know, it's fake pretense and it's all about, what's in it for me.
This would be the last time, I would meet Mark. As I left the office, he requested for a hug which I willingly offered. It was a way of thanks-giving considering my purse was a little-bit heavier. That's the least I would have done. The embrace was tight and warm than it should have been. I feel disgraced knowing that I was his arms longer than I should have been but at that point, it never crossed my mind. In his embrace, it was as though there was security but I had you in mind. I walked away and that was the last time our paths ever crossed.
I refrained from keeping in touch with him but he would constantly bombard my phone with long well-written messages but I knew better Deborah. He called me all those sweet words and if you carefully went through the messages, it was obvious that I did not entertain him. But you know men, will move mountains to try and conquer a chamber they have set their mind to. I knew I would not be happy and if I was it was going to be, it would be fleeting happiness. On top of that I'd not be settled as I'd have to be cautious as the saying goes, 'you can't beat a stolen drum, just anywhere.'
Deborah, if there is something that I bank on, it's my morals. They are deeply rooted and regardless of how strong the wind is, they are unmovable. If it's for money, I grew up with plenty. I felt attacked when you insinuated that I was having escapades with your man. He has always had a very bad history in the organization and I knew I wasn't the first nor going to be the last. I don't mean to cause you any heartache.
I hope this letter will calm your rage and bring peace to your heart. It will also convict you to not pray for evil things to happen to me. But I know God knows my heart. I would never want to be on the receiving end of any married woman's prayer. I know they are straight bullets that would make one remain on their knees for the rest of their lives.
In case this letter doesn't give you satisfaction and you'd want any clarifications, reach me via email. simplywairimu@gmail.com.
From the woman, you called a homewrecker.
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