I will find you in my darkest hour

rheadopmeijer

Apr 6

In my darkest hour, there I will find you

There are moments you just want to walk along and just disappear

In thin air, resolved or pulverized like dust in the wind.
When the sense of missing and not knowing where to belong
Other than in your arms and yours only.
Those moments you don't expect to show up
Sometimes out of the blue, other times due to a date
A meeting or a word that reminds me of you.
It brings up more than just me missing you.
It touches all those moments during this present life
I had a hard time breathing and holding it together.
Due to illness, weakness, vulnerability, pain,
but most of all, not knowing how to survive,
And keep my head above water.
When this sensation of drowning comes up
It is always when I feel defeated and at my lowest
Not able to feel the ground beneath my feet
And tumbling down the tube so fast
I lose every sense of distance or direction.
There is this deep place within my soul and heart
That is filled with so much pain and sorrow
As a result of all those lifetimes rushing in
Bringing in all these unresolved issues and emotional
Wounds to be cleared and healed in one lifetime.
I let go and let myself tumble down and down
Until something grabs me and lifts me up again.
I was ready to surrender and let it all go
And it that moment, there I hit rock bottom
And could feel the ground under my feet again.
Enough to push me upwards again, up into
The present time again living and loving
Each and every part of me, for that, is
The precious gift I always find, every time
I am in my darkest hour and place within.
The love and the light I feel are so warm and
Inviting me to be alive and willing to step up
Into the day of light as well as the warm embrace
I receive from you, my strong and powerful
Counterpart that is and will always be here with me
The moment I let go and don't hold anything back,
The inner connection comes in and shines bright.
Showing me the way to follow to be reunited
With the highest version of myself.
In my darkest hour, I will find You.