A.A. B (open letter)

chinadolli

Apr 24

I saw something the day before yesterday, it was something you liked on Instagram a reel about, being in love with a side piece and her not wanting you because you are a liar and a cheater.

My heart sank and I felt this rage build up in me as I'd never felt so intensely before...
I kept wondering who is the side piece...
How many are there?
Who is the main?
Who am I in that equation?

It was at that moment that I knew it would never work out...
I can't trust you now...
Cause my gut instinct was right...
I was so angry
So fucking angry, I could've blocked you right then without explanation.
I regret staying loyal to you.
I regret waiting this long for you
I regret getting emotionally invested in you.
I regret answering your first message...

Part of me wishes I never met you...
Cause you lied and hid things and made me feel special when I was just a number in a lineup.
So who is it?
One of the girls whose name starts with A? There are a few of those...
Of P? Is that one your main? Maybe I'll tell her
Any others!?
Blonde ones!? One's that look like bigger versions of me?!
I'm sure there is...
Does she know? Do they know?
How many of their pictures do you have saved on you phone?
Made as your background now...
Do you love one of them?
Well, do you?
How many of them have you fucked?
Any? All of them?
Do they know what I know about you?
Or are you leading them on too?
How many others are you trying to add to that rotation..
Yeah you must be really busy..

What am I to you?
A joke...
Cause I'm not laughing...

Well, let me tell you...
I lied too... But I won't tell you about what.
You don't deserve the truth.

I don't love you
I didn't fall in love with you
I never trusted you from the very beginning
But it still hurts
Because before I didn't have proof
But now....
I have something...

I hate that I am this way...
I really do
I hate being right
I hate investigating
I hate that I wasn't demanding more from you.
I hate that I didn't ask enough of the right questions
I hate you right now... I do...

I used to see the possibility of a serious relationship...
I used to see something...
But you saw something completely different I guess.

You told me you have baggage...
But you didn't tell me about all the garbage you carry as well.

Let me tell you, I could confront the other girls... I could... But honestly... I don't want that drama... And from the looks of it, none of them are loyal to you either, so it all goes back around...
Girls like that got plenty of guys like you hitting their dms saying things like you say... They send sexy pics to multiple people because baby that's how bitches be...
Let me tell you, I got plenty of guys hit my dms every day too... But I ignored most of them because of you....
I turned dates down but I never got off the apps, cause I was waiting... Just waiting to see what would happen...

See... I know I'm not the prettiest woman out there not even close, but I guarantee you won't meet anyone like me ever again...
Guarantee it...

I was willing to wait for you even after you hid half the shit you've done, even while knowing you were lying about certain things I had to find out myself, I was willing to be loyal to you even after seeing all the fucking bitches you follow... The bitches you talk to more than me...
I'm one of the most understanding people you will meet. but this... No there isn't an excuse for any of this...

Am I your side piece?
Cause I sure as hell ain't your main
I ain't your woman
Your baby
Your girl
I'm not even your friend right now
Cause I don't even trust you as a friend.

I don't trust you at all.

It took everything in me not to just tell you off and take screen shoots, send messages... No... I just kept acting like I didn't know...

I am so stupid...
Everyone told me to leave
To move on
To forget you
To block you
Everyone told me I deserve better...

My friends... My siblings even the other dude reading all this who has no idea what's actually happening.

I am so stupid....

You don't deserve me... Even as a friend..
You aren't worthy of me...
You are a liar and a cheater.

And guess what?! All the other bitches that you talk to are fucking several other dudes too (believe me, I know and you aren't at the top for them )... You all deserve each other...

You aren't a gentleman...
A gentleman would've made his intentions known throughout it all.
He would've used my name.
He wouldn't have forgotten so many things about me.
He would've only spoken to one woman at a time.
He wouldn't pursue people he couldn't have.
He wouldn't make promises he couldn't keep...
He would have liked all my pictures, and watched every story, answered all of my questions... He would've been honest even if it hurt.

You aren't a very good Christian either... And I don't think it matters how many times you ask for forgiveness. Some things aren't going to be forgiven especially if you continue fucking up in other areas... Like lying and cheating.

You also aren't as good of a listener as you think you are...

I don't know what I'm going to do after this
I don't know if you will read this either, cause from what I've gathered you have stopped caring.

All I know is since I started talking to you I've felt more lonely.
I've felt more disgusted with myself...
I felt more nervous for no good reason.
I use to like the way you talked to me... But now I know every single fucking thing from your mouth is a lie.
I hate it now because you're telling them all the same thing.
I'm not special....

The funny thing is, I'm not even jealous of them in any way... I know a high valued woman when I see it... And I don't see it in them... Maybe two of the blonde ones but that's debatable...

The guy reading this now has better taste in women... Then you, and I actually feel flattered he likes me. He is an ass hole and he still is a better friend then you.

I'm leaving it at this... I guess it's just a matter of time...
We will see...

I'll give you a chance to explain yourself... But I think I've made up my mind.

Think carefully...

Or you know what?

Maybe you should just fuck off.