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"Compassion is to look beyond your own pain, to see the pain of others."
—Yasmin Mogahed
There have been a handful of people who have touched the depths of my soul. And at times, the very resonance scares the living daylights out of me. What if faced with circumstances that test the exact reasons for your bond? What if life decides to expose a side of yours you weren't anticipating? Would you pass the conundrum? You see, I am the kind of person who thinks when no one else is thinking and feels when no one else is feeling. I just need you to surprise (shock) me with a situation and I get into all Terminator mode. Oh, don't worry. I ain't scanning you for a true match (or am I?), but I am scanning your brain for the next words uttered. Careful, your next choice of words might just be mine (me: mentally pre-playing the conversation already decided on your behalf).
It is very easy to feel compassion for a stranger. But what happens when a loved one has hurt you? How do you deal with the pain? How do you move past it? Do you become a monster as a result of it? During these times, I try to assess the situation, unbiasedly, and to the best of my ability. When faced with grim pitfalls, I tend to think logically and reason it out while keeping my emotions inaccessible. But those very feelings come to haunt me when in solitude. Those dreaded momentary pauses in between conversations. The failed attempts at numbing out the hurt. I used to assert my actions over theirs in my head. I would substitute my words in exchange for theirs had I been in their place. But was I right about doing so? Was I justified? Everyone processes a given situation uniquely. But what if one isn't as accommodating as one would have hoped for?
Mind you, there are people whose actions and words are premeditated, insensitive, and selfish. I am not advocating naïveté and delusion in any way, shape or form. One must use their discerning judgment based on people and situations. I am referring to those who have no malicious intent. They are just in a hurting phase in their life and need guidance and acceptance. Now, the plot thickens. Have you moved past your pain as a result of their actions or words? Does the past define your present actions? One can't expect a person to respond or react similarly as we all comprehend life with varied intensities. All we can do is to be understanding and give them time to heal. Give yourself time to heal. Mull over your own thoughts and emotions and how best to handle them.
Being compassionate doesn't mean you haven't felt pain or hurt. The beauty lies in the fact that you dispel darkness instead of letting it consume you whole. Your heart hasn't turned into coal because someone else's was. You are choosing to look beyond the pain experienced. Of not allowing life to dictate your character and personality. We have all been wronged at some point in our lives but we have all been defaulters at some point too. If we were granted compassion in the past, why not pay it forward to the one desperately working towards forgiveness? Being empathetic is a boon to possess in a world that propagates revenge and unrest. Would you like to join that budding community? Would you like to make a positive difference for the people who love you? For a heart that has truly felt anguish would never inflict the same on another.
P.S. Thank you to my fellow bloggers and writers for visiting my Instagram page. It was heart-warming to see familiar faces.
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