When we talk to our family members, we have certain expectations. We want them to behave or talk in certain ways to feel safe or loved. If they dont meet those expectations, we feel unloved,unappreciated and scared. It depends on the level of childhood trauma and our own emotional makeup/understanding/perception.
I feel that we should try to change this. We should be in a state of "not taking anything personally". Whatever people do, they do as per their own conveniences, inconveniences, beliefs, perceptions, hurt feelings, insecurities and limitations.
If we take it personally and feel that this means that they dont care about us then we will always suffer.
They do this because of their own mental/emotional conditions so it is not personal. Also it does not mean that we have to do what they want. We have to come out of victim feelings and try to negotiate. We have to try to find middle ground irrespective of their emotional/mental limitations. Negotiation is not only for official matter, use it in personal matters as well so that people can find some common ground.
People are sometimes too difficult due to being overly limited in mental/emotional patterns and sometimes we are also conditioned to expect too much like expecting sacrifices in the name of love, unable to listen No.
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