...but he doesn't want to be present and take care of them. Sound familiar? There are plenty people who enjoy making babies, but don't want the responsibilities of caring for, raising their children. Those of you who are familiar with this blog know that I encourage women to guard themselves overall, including in mind and body. This cannot be overemphasized.
This post is not a jab at single fathers or single mothers at all. Sometimes, circumstances are such that there are single parents. Many do a great job! This post is a reminder that some people don't want to be responsible, so be careful! It is encouragement to do things God's way, which makes things a lot easier.
When things are done God's way, they work out a whole lot better. The message I convey is not because I am perfect or have not made mistakes myself. I have made plenty mistakes. I am far from perfect.
I am encouraging ladies to do what is right and not make their lives any more difficult than they need to be. I have learned that doing things our own way, which typically opposes the ways of God, does not work. Our culture is encouraging people to do whatever feels good to them at the particular time. However, in the long run, this often leads to trouble.
Women must safeguard their bodies. Women are the gatekeepers of their own bodies and can prevent unwanted pregnancies and STDs through abstaining from sex outside of marriage.
Nowadays, single motherhood is being glorified. Celebrities who are unmarried, pregnant and giving birth are seen as role models by some young girls and women.
Driven by sensual desires, driven by the idea of having men's love, and for the sake of "equality" with men, many young ladies and girls continue to put themselves in compromising situations.
They have unprotected sex with men, many who decide they are not ready to be fathers. They give these men husband benefits when the men have not married them. A woman cannot know if a man will be a good, present father for her child. The best situation for a woman to have a child in is when she has chosen very carefully and wisely the right husband and father for her children.
She ideally has responded to a man's marriage proposal and said yes, only to the man who has proven his love for her, shown he has good father and husband traits, and treated her well consistently. For women who are Christians, prayer is paramount. Prayer for God's guidance and direction is necessary.
Only when a woman is married and there is legal binding should she take the chance in having children with a man. I know that children are born outside of marriages. I know that these things happen. Outside of God's grace, it could have happened to me. It could happen to anyone. But I'm talking about the ideal way children should come into the world, which is the way God intended.
God's design is for a husband and wife to be faithful, love each other and have children together within marriage. The children should be raise in a structured, loving, safe environment. Often, this does not happen. When this doesn't happen, there is an unhealthy environment in the home.
Children often come out traumatized, grow up, have dysfunctional relationships of Their own and repeat the toxic cycles with their families. There are exceptions. However, when people grow up in dysfunctional environments, they have to be very intentional about breaking the cycles.
When people choose to have sex, they are showing with their actions that they are ready to be a father or mother.
Obviously, one should be prepared to be a father or mother when they decided to have sex. Unfortunately, plenty men only like making babies; not so much liking being present and caring for them. They know they will not become pregnant, won't have to carry the baby, they know they will not have to go through labor and childbirth.
They know that they will not have to go through postpartum depression, breastfeeding and usually don't involve themselves in the majority of child-rearing. Many don't even want to pay child support! Some enjoy making the child and fulfilling very few of their responsibilities in caring for their child or children.
Why do many women continue to give themselves the raw end of the deal by allowing men to impregnate them outside of a healthy marriage?
• Why should women continue to put themselves in the position to be single mothers, carrying the burden of child- rearing mainly alone?
• Why should a woman go through the cruel process of terminating a pregnancy?
• Why should the innocent baby suffer and lose his or her life?
• Why should a woman have to go through the termination and then suffer mental and psychological problems, sometimes for life, due to the effects of the termination?
• Many people don't even acknowledge women's mental and emotional problems that arise from going through the intentional termination of their pregnancies. Some women terminated their pregnancies and they repented. God forgives! We must confess our faults and God is a forgiving God ( 1 John 1:9).
• Plenty women dishonor God, dishonor their bodies and make their lives more difficult than necessary. There is a better way.
• Women can choose to safeguard their bodies and do things God's way. This eliminates an enormous amount of optional hardships many women suffer.
There continues to be a stigma attached to being a single mother. As if most women prefer to become single mothers.
Reality is, many mothers are unfortunately abandoned or realize they need to leave a toxic relationship. There are so many ways that girls and women give themselves the short end of the stick by having children outside of marriage. At least, when a woman is married, there is a legal binding. There is more accountability. Some men (and women) have an immense aversion to responsibility and accountability.
The courts tend to hold fathers accountable even moreso when they are married. Should things go south in the marriage, there is the possibility of both alimony and child support. Part of the reason some courts are unfairly hard on certain men is because of so many deadbeats.
Every time an unmarried woman chooses to have sex, she risks getting pregnant and becoming a single mother. The risk is high.
The purpose of this post is encouragement to get back to doing things God's way. Plenty single fathers and mothers have done an excellent job, because they have done the best they could do. I really respect that!
My goal is to encourage ladies to avoid many problems by getting back to God's design. His way works. It is important not to jump the gun and become pregnant before marriage. Christians know that the proper way to do things is to become involved sexually only after marriage.
"But if any provide not for his own, and specially for those of his own house, he hath denied the faith, and is worse than an infidel." 1 Timothy 5: 8
"There are six things the Lord hates—
no, seven things he detests:
haughty eyes,
a lying tongue,
hands that kill the innocent, a heart that plots evil,
feet that race to do wrong,
a false witness who pours out lies,
a person who sows discord in a family..." Proverbs 6:16 - 19.
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