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"Most people use their energy attempting to rearrange circumstances that trigger painful emotions. Changing external circumstances will not change your rigid patterns of emotional response. That requires looking at the patterns themselves."
—Gary Zukav
I believe we all embody a measure of emotional baggage that merges with our physical and mental identities. They either become an inherent part of our being or serve as reminders of an afflictive past. How we process and deal with those triggers determines the relationships we foster in our lives. It isn't easy handling the circumference and longitude of emotions latched onto hurtful memories. Our responses and reactions would pave our destinies similarly. However, understanding what and who triggers you is a battle half won, for one can always distance or create healthy boundaries.
It takes a certain level of shadow work to accept one gets provoked. However, the heart of the matter remains that we are shot with bullets of reality to heal an aggravating part of us. A part that is consuming and shrivelling one's very own core of being. A part that is a deterrent to a desired lifestyle. I believe acceptance is a key factor here. Accepting that there are complex areas in your life that need rigorous work is when the wheels of change partake. You can't bleed onto innocent, undeserving people and expect lasting relationships. Shifting blame to alter reality into a tailor-made one would only result in an unfavourable outcome. A reality, you would be forced to live with for the entirety of your time on this planet.
I read a beautiful verse from a book that stated, "What doesn't kill you, doesn't necessarily make you stronger". In actuality, it leaves you encompassed with fears, insecurities, and inhibitions, which ultimately leads you astray from what you truly envision. Wounds left unattended, amplify and intensify with time. They may get concealed with unhealthy coping mechanisms but will have to be faced eye to eye in the form of regular triggers. A lack of accountability on your part will ultimately lead to a loss of true connections. One can't stay broken and anticipate their world to be complete. Assigning others to carry your burden will only create a makeshift world where the characters you create remain fictitious in reality.
It is very crucial to assess one's tone and use of language in a conversation. Prodding and poking people for no reason conveys unresolved chaos within you. Repetitive patterns, despite heart-to-heart conversations, signal a conscious decision. We will continue to revolve in a loop of distressing situations and people if we decide to remain unchanged. The fact to date remains: We can either obstinately close ourselves off to the future or intentionally repair and heal our pasts. Triggers are a source of growth if one perceives them to be. We become aware of where we lack control in our lives. Is it our raging emotions? Our stubborn, destructive thoughts? Confirmation biases? What is it that we need to change in ourselves that causes an irrational and unwelcome reaction to certain stimuli?
"Avoiding your triggers isn't healing. Healing happens when you're triggered and you're able to move through the pain, the pattern and the story and walk to a different ending."
—Vienna Pharaon
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