The boy with the devil in his eyes.

Intricate.

Jan 2

I had a dream last night, we were seated in our spot by the beach we so often visited, watching the waves roll over in a peaceful descent.
You looked over at me, and asked me what I was thinking.
I couldn't smile, I couldn't breathe as my words shuddered out in a haze, looking into your caramel brown eyes.
I whispered.
I stayed here for you, I said it wasn't just you but it was, you were all that made me want to stay, your words of comfort, your hugs so warm, your promises so bold. I stayed here for you, I gave up a future for myself, for the possibility of a future for us. So why did you have to go and break me like me?
You smirked, and in your eyes which used to make me feel safe I saw a cage, where your darkest demons laid, a cage within which you had trapped me.
And I knew why it ended this way.
You were never capable of the love I had to offer.
You were never ready for us, for me, because I knew what I wanted the moment we kissed, I knew what I wanted when I fell for you, but you never knew yourself, let alone what you wanted out of us.
I feel bad for you my love, I feel bad for the boy who wants to conquer the world but is so shrouded by self doubt, the boy who wants to love, but stops with himself.
I don't wish you well anymore, I don't wish you ill either.
I wish for my memories to hold you as the sweet boy with kind eyes who took over my heart, and not the man so twisted who breaks apart everything he touches even if all it carries is love.