I got that stupid question again yesterday from somebody who knows I don't drink, "are you going to have a drink as it's new years eve", my reply "no". "Not even a glass of champagne?" No. "oh that's a shame". I don't drink alcohol so why would I drink alcohol tomorrow? I haven't drunk any alcohol for over 2 years. If people stopped and thought about what they are saying they may realise how strange their thought processes are. One guy I motorcycle with is odd about my non drinking and keeps badgering me to just have one? Why? What the fuck difference is it to him what I drink?? I once pretended to try my mates drink whilst this guy watched, he literally jumped up off his chair, eyes popping out of his head ready to cheer like England were about to score. He was so disappointed, even dejected when I just sniffed the glass. Weird weird weird.
I didn't celebrate new year last night. To be honest I don't really find the party spirit new years eve. I love my life, happy and contented, don't get me wrong, it's just staying up for the ritual isn't my thing. 2023 is just a number and New Years day has no significance for me other than having to remember to write 2023 instead of 2022 for the next few weeks. I sit here now at 10.43 am, dogs walked and laying by the sofa in relative peace and quiet. My in-box had 1/2 a dozen scripted generic messages from people who had created the 'send to all' in-box message, I dutifully provided a heart emoji in return so as not to offend anybody. I find these cartoon characters that middle age woman create of themselves and text over with their messages fascinatingly odd. Why? I wonder. I know who they are, what they look like, why create a strange little character that doesn't look remotely like them, although the characters look younger! Is that what they send each other too?
A British journalist who was a major piss head Adrian Childs was correct. He kinda said that the 'hit' of the first pint, when the drug "ethanol" starts to depress your brain chemicals is what people love and are always after. The subsequent pints are trying to recreate this feeling that is impossible to find. I get that, the warm feeling when anxiety eases on the first ethanol brain hit, feeling calmer and disconnected for a few moments in life. Time to forget your worries just for a brief few minutes as the alcohol does it work on the brain. I actually hate that feeling, I feel like I am losing a connection to the real world around me. A world that has to be confronted, faced head on. It's a challenge that I am up to but only when my brain is in fall working order..
I ran a 12.5 mile trail run Friday, as I left the house to go I tripped on a deodorant bottle and wacked my pelvis hard on the stairs. It's really sore walking today so another days rest it is.
Happy new year xx
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