What's there to tell about pillow talk?
Interesting topic, pillow talk, it brings in so many memories that come flooding in. In the 43 years together we had our most laughs, our sorrows, our pain, and our fears shared together in bed. Either before falling asleep, or waking up in the morning, the wee hours when you feel it's still dark outside and the sunlight is still waiting to come forth. These moments we shared are so significant for our relationship.
Building on love, trust and faith enabled us to share our most intimate as well secret hidden emotions, stories never been told. Pillow talk is something that for us was built around that one key element, love and interest for each other. Wanting to get to learn from each other in every corner of the mind, heart, and soul.
Everything that needed to be revealed came up in these warm loving moments, listening to the words, and looking in the eyes of the beloved. Sensing and feeling how the external walls were dropping down. To get into the most intimate space within. It made it possible to be as small or as tall as you could be.
Just because of the safe space we could hold for each other. Reviewing the day, the events that took place, the difficulties as well the discrepancies. Work-related or family-related, it didn't matter what came up. We always could rely on our pillow talks. Promises were made not to go to bed in anger or anxiety, nor get out of bed in a bad mood.
Promises made over the years, what do to with upcoming challenges. Our worries about the kids growing up, and our different takes on it as well. How I love our pillow talks and the warm and safe surroundings we could offer each other. At times, just lying on our own pillow so to speak, side by side, and other times resting in each other's arms. How I loved to rest in your arms, head on your shoulder, feeling the rising of your breath and the deep rumble in my ears when you talked. The breath that connected us even more.
Silent talks were exchanged as well, and probably these were the best. Resting comfortably in each other's energy, heart-to-heart connected, feeling the breath as well the heartbeats and bringing them in sync. Creating one circle of love, breath, and life on one pillow, spoke volumes. Gratitude as well for the deep inner connection we could achieve.
Not always as smooth as we would like them to be. Yet always finding our way together, through our pillow talks as well. Because that was our sanctuary, the silence as well the safety and trust. Knowing whatever would be said, it would be acknowledged and accepted.
The moments we could sense a wall between us were the most difficult in this space in the bed. The intimacy we held was also been put to the test. In ways, we couldn't expect and never would have anticipated. The storms that run through our lives were always as turbulent at times during our pillow talks as well, the tears wetting the pillows. The way life was being experienced held several difficult moments for us to deal with.
It was a roller coaster as well, the events that took place to be dealt with. Yet one thing we never lost was our love and faith in each other, to be able to deal with whatever difficulty and challenge we would have to face. The way we would find our way back or come up with solutions always came from the way we communicated.
Intimacy is something that doesn't come easy at times. When former experiences are being triggered and bring up walls that were not there before, for one. This was a hurdle that needed to be taken in order to keep communicating. Yet, within my love, I knew he was the only one who could lay me bare without undressing me.
He made me feel loved beyond fear and tears. Coming from different places and spaces, the way to find our middle ground was always based on love. It was the cement or the glue that kept It all together in times of need. For me, he was the only one I could reveal so much without feeling misunderstood, or rejected by the way my path took me.
How I miss our pillow talks at times, even though I can always talk to you the same way we did. I feel and sense this loving energy surrounding me, and I know you know me. Every cell holds the memories of you alive in my being. Bringing in beautiful memories, our children and grandchildren, family moments to cherish, and pictures to show them. Love is energy, and your loving energy is huge and expanding even more.
It is coming down to the breath, the space I know you are in my heart, in the moment between the inhale and exhale. In the safe space of our bedroom, I still feel cherished and loved. The most precious moments we had, and held, were in that bedroom. During our pillow talks, reminisce and remember, honoring and loving each other.
Quote by Zayn expresses it perfectly for me: in the place that feels the tears, the place to lose your fears, Yeah, reckless behavior (Pillow talk)
And so it is
High Self @RheaDopmeijer (c)
Heartfelt Messages,
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