It's hard finding help when your partner's a sex addict. It's not the kind of thing most people tend to talk about. It's lonely and it's shameful – even though you are the victim. You keep it to yourself. A painful secret you can't share.
But why do we hide it?
It's a form of self-protection. We know people are cruel, and we'll be judged - just like our spouse. We know people will talk. And they'll be cruel, not sympathetic. They'll pull apart our looks, our life, our personality.
It's crazy when you think of it: the world is hypersexual. It's everywhere you look. Cheap sex. A fling. A flirt. A wink. A hookup app. A lap dance. Or an image on your cell phone. Forget your spouse or partner. It's a bit of harmless fun.
But when the truth's uncovered it's a different situation. Society is shocked. It can't believe he did those things! Is he the kind of person who betrays or uses others? Is that who you have married? Now, you're tarred with the same brush.
So you, the injured party, who is reeling from the trauma, is shunned and left to deal with all the fallout on your own. The topic is taboo. It isn't like other addictions.
Society shames us, and so we carry it alone.
"Loneliness is feeling that no-one cares."
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