[TW -Death]
My Stepmother recently died. I called her Mama as a sign of respect, and out of love. I loved my own Mother more than anyone ever loved anything but our relationship was forbidden. Yes.
Anything was better than nothing. She was hateful but I grew to love her because I'm a teddy bear. I needed a mother figure and she was there.
Yes, there were times where it was clear that she wasn't really my mom and I wasn't really her son because this is Earth
I loved her.
She was also a feminist without knowing it-
She was problematic like most people born in the fifties, but alright.
By being so strong and capable she taught me a lot. All my life I have been so blessed to be around the most amazing women. My Grandmothers death hurt but no more than my Mother's banishment. This hurts in that same way, she was a good woman who did her best to help me out.
She's gone. Wherever we go.
Yes she was in bad shape at the end so there is the easing of that
That Woman deserved better.
And I couldn't save her, and I tried.
She never got to see me succeed. Not matter what happens, she isn't here anymore. I wanted Her to see me win and feel validated.
The cry still hasn't hit me. I feel like a monster.
Be kind to yourself.
That one hurt.
So the last few years have been so crazy and I have just been barely getting by the last season or so that this was too much to think about. My life has been pretty hectic, just like everyone the last few years. I'm getting back into shape. Battling my demons
And she has the nerve to DIE??
WHATEVER! -Peggy! -WHAT-EVUR-AH!
You know what? Just leave! (ouch)
Just go find a better way to be.
I'm sorry for the ways I hurt you.
Wait.
What do you mean they weren't married?
What divorce??!
Oh, you are shitting me.
When?
...no one tells me anything
So you mean to to me I just sat here and poured my guts out over some mid-century piece that wasn't even technically still my Stepmother?- alright
Alright I'm done.
No thank you, no, because now, its complicated.
Goodbye, Mama. Peggy.
******
I hope this season has been good to you and gets you ready for next year. I hope you are happy and well. Thank You for being here.
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