Merry Go Round

jefferyrn

Nov 7

My life is on a merry go round these days. I want to stop and get off but I can't just yet. It has been a crazy time training the new guy to replace me. I have mixed feeling so joy and dread. I am soon to be retired, like an old horse, out to pasture. The new rabbit is eager to hop into my position, all though he is reluctant at times to take hold of the reins.

I haven't had much time to think, let alone write down my thoughts here. We did manage a little getaway to San Francisco for Halloween. It was bitter sweet. A lot has changed in the past 25 years since I once lived on the peninsula in San Bruno and worked in the city. (Funny how "the city" means San Francisco when you live north, and Los Angeles when you live South.)

I remember SOMA (South of Market) district being much more fun. It is gentrified now with fancy condos and a new class of people. Some of the old haunts are still there but it just didn't have the same feel. Oh well, I have my memories.

I am sure West Hollywood is not what I remembered either. We have not visited since we moved, and yet it is so close. When you get old a two hour drive seems daunting and I am afraid of the disappointment that awaits. It was, however, the town I flocked to for my first Pride parade.

We had one (Pride parade) here in Palm Springs on Sunday. I didn't even bother to check it out. We did go down on Friday night and checkout the scene. It was dismal at best. But there were a few revelers in the streets. I need to sit and that was not possible without waiting in line to get into a bar that is normally half empty. Didn't happen. Back in the 80s there was no street party here. Palm Springs was a destination to stay at a "gay" hotel and lay in the sun all day, drinking all night, and maybe hit the dance floor. Oh, and wild promiscuity abound everywhere.

So here I am retiring much like most things I remember from my youth have done. Many friends and family have died. So I am lucky to be alive. It is time for a much quieter time of life. I think I can handle it. I can find happiness in new things the other side of the merry go round before flying off into a different kind of eternity.

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