For the love of deep meaningful conversations

PEACE the Afterthought

Nov 7

I know they say you should never box yourself in, but I feel like when it comes to this matter, change might be hard to come by. Not for luck of trying either.

I'm the kind of person who clams up when it comes to group conversations. Not because I don't want to share, but everyone gets to talking and I don't know how to wedge my foot in. Like where's the opening - when someone answers a phone call or excuses themselves from the table. Or is it after the last joke?

I'm one of those people who will repeat, 'You know I...,' about three times as it gets drowned out by the more overt talkers.

I don't mind usually. Actually I like hanging out with great talkers, so that they do all the talking and at the end of the day we both feel like we have done our best socialising.

Not so this year.

(Don't get the wrong impression though. They are only about a handful of the kind conversations I'm trying to describe here - we'll blame that on my aversion to social life, which I'm working on).

In searching for growth in my friendships, I've wanted some depth to them.

Cue the one on one meets...and conversations.

Conversations that would last hours (which honestly surprised me because I'm not a talker, as previously implied. I would actually go out planning for about one and a half hours only to find we are three hours in and showing no signs of stopping).

Conversations where I felt seen and heard. And that one is harder to explain because I'm seen and heard, I think, even within the groups.

Conversations I would redo. Or go over in my head from time to time. Because of the depth and vulnerability and different facets of life we are all navigating.

Conversations I am grateful for.

In trying to explain it to one friend, I said I feel like I've genuinely pursued my friends this year. Gone out to meet them where they prefer and that was also like seeing a glimpse into the things I might not have known about them. Their places, their restaurants of choice, their leisure activities, wherever this pursuit led.

Honestly, meeting people one on one, when you've got mutual friends is quite expensive. Like why not do one large social gathering, talk over each other and call it a year?

But I'm not complaining at all!

Now that I feel I've cemented this fact about myself, I'll do more about it.

So, if you've made it this far, let me know, are you the talker in your friendships?

Comment