Childhood Emotional Trauma

Nov 26

Childhood emotional trauma is defined as any experience that a child has that he or she is unable to process or understand, which causes fear or a sense of being unsafe or helpless. A child perceives being emotionally disconnected from a parent as dangerous because a child is completely reliant on their parent for safety and survival.

If a child cannot receive a sense of emotional connection, love, and safety simply for being themselves, they will cope by developing unhealthy beliefs and behaviors. If you grew up in a home where all of your physical needs were met, you may think to yourself, "My childhood wasn't that bad," or you may even feel guilty for having negative core beliefs about yourself. It is critical to understand that emotional trauma is trauma.

Here are few things we think are normal that are actually childhood emotional trauma :

When it is expected of you to ignore or deny family problems.
Parents who use the "silent treatment" as punishment.
Not being allowed to share or express your emotions because their will be a negative reaction from your parent or caregiver.
Being shamed for displaying unique aspects of oneself.
When your parents consistently prioritise their own needs and desires over yours.
In the home, there is a lack of fun, play, joy, and laughter.
Emotional gaslighting occurs when you are told "don't cry" when you are upset.
Being emotionally ignored, not being asked about who you are, and your uniqueness not being valued.
Not feeling seen or known, and not being emotionally connected to.
Having your perception of an experience invalidated or ignored by a parent, such as being told that an overwhelming experience "isn't a big deal."
Having a family member who abuses substances and being forbidden from discussing it.
If you do not feel encouraged or supported, you must earn or prove yourself in order to receive praise, attention, or affection.
Having an emotionally reactive parent who experiences extreme highs and lows and vents their emotions on you.
Being chastised for your physical appearance.
When you grow up in a close-knit family, you inherit your parents' emotional experiences; you lack emotional independence.
When a child's parent cries or has an emotional outburst, the child must console their parent.
Boundaries are not being modelled or encouraged.
Emotions and difficult conversations are avoided.
Your inner world and individuality are discouraged, such as being told that something you enjoy is "silly" or "a waste of time."
Being humiliated or mocked for making a mistake.

Emotional trauma prevents you from learning to know, love, and develop a healthy self concept. Understanding how you became disconnected from yourself is the first step toward reconnecting.

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