honorsatiowa posted: " Jayli Carmichael Aging can be an extremely scary thing to think about. In fact, gerascophobia is the fear of growing older. However, it's a process every living thing must conquer. There are those fantastic, divine, everyday memories that make lif" Note to Self
Aging can be an extremely scary thing to think about. In fact, gerascophobia is the fear of growing older. However, it's a process every living thing must conquer. There are those fantastic, divine, everyday memories that make life better. The ones where you just got out of school on a Friday afternoon, and your friends all hop in your car and drive aimlessly around talking about nothing and everything at the same time, while turning the volume up on the song you love so loud that you can't hear each other.
But, growing up is also a bittersweet experience: Like the moments where you step into your new dorm room at a new school for the first time ever, where you make your own decisions and have your own independence without any guidance. Like those moments where you pull an all-nighter for an exam in one of your classes and you just got your results back, and you failed it.
Thinking back on those memories, I feel the urge to wince, laugh, and cry. I miss those moments attached to that time in my life. But that doesn't mean I won't make more memories in my lifetime.
The song "Ribs" by Lorde embodies all those feelings of anxiety, pain, and fear of growing up. Listening to the frantic beat of the piano and the strumming of the guitar makes you stare into space, and experience those very same emotions. Lorde talks about the feeling of growing older, having to experience it without a choice. Life rapidly changes and progresses; it doesn't slow down or speed up because you want it too. All of the accomplishments and pleasures eventually outweigh the uncertainties and difficulties of life.
"The drink you spilt all over me
"Lover's Spit" left on repeat
My mom and dad let me stay home
It drives you crazy getting old"
The feelings and situations she writes about are extremely mundane, and relate to teenagers becoming more individualistic in their own lives. Constantly repeating the same song over and over again shows the anxiety Lorde feels when it comes to growing up, because there's safety in knowing what comes next. Just like how I rewatch the same shows and movies over and over again because I like knowing how it ends, Lorde and I share the same sentiment of being scared of the unknown.
"We can talk it so good
We can make it so divine
We can talk it good
How you wish it would be all the time"
This verse has a very slow melodic build-up as Lorde's lyrics have an angelic tone to them. It reminds me of remembering the good memories, and then thinking I can't relive them. But, that's all a part of growing up. Just because I made great memories, doesn't mean I won't make more, and better ones.
"The drink you spilt all over me
"Lover's Spit" left on repeat
My mom and dad let me stay home
It drives you crazy getting old
The drink you spilt all over me
"Lover's Spit" left on repeat
My mom and dad let me stay home
It drives you crazy getting old"
The frantic flurry pace of these repeated lyrics shows the anxiety Lorde feels when she thinks of growing older, and finding herself.
"I want 'em back, I want 'em back
The minds we had, the minds we had
How all the thoughts, how all the thoughts
Moved 'round our heads, moved 'round our heads
I want 'em back, I want 'em back
The minds we had, the minds we had
It's not enough to feel the lack
I want 'em back, I want 'em back, I want 'em"
In this verse, Lorde pleads to experience all of those good memories she had when growing up. The moments where you are carefree. It's not enough to relive them in your memories. But if you went back in time, you wouldn't be able to create new memories, with new people and friends. You wouldn't be able to experience life to the fullest.
Lorde has gerascophobia. She is scared of growing up and aging. However, that is just the process of life. Don't live your life in the past. While the memories of childhood are fantastic, don't let that stop you from living. Realizing all the responsibility of growing up can be scary, and can make you want to cling to that carefree freedom, but slowly let go of the past, and that false utopia.
I am scared of growing up, of the unknown. If I could, I would relive my childhood, and never grow up like Pan and his lost boys. But I ultimately want to experience life and all the ups and downs of it.
Author Bio:
Jayli is a first-year student from Boston, Massachusetts, majoring in English on the Publishing track, and Business on the Market-Management track. While at the University of Iowa, she hopes to further develop her creative skills in writing and editing.
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