I have seen my mother insensitive at many occasions. Earlier I took it to my heart and felt that she does not love me. I have seen my father also hurt at various occasions due to this.
With time I have understood that due to her wounds, whenever she gets triggered then she became insensitive to people around her.
She has money wound/insecurity so for her money is very important. So even when my father was dying - money was more important for her than him. This happened with me several times - when i could not give enough money.
She has trauma related to other people where other people made her feel bad ab herself. So, it's more important to her what others think rather than what we want in our life. Recently the child in our family was ill but she was concerned with the looks of the child. She won't look good or presentable to the society on her birthday.
My mother seems to have good relations with House Helper. But she does this because she feels over worked and tired physically. She is unable to do her work. So she tries to have best relations with her or obligate her by giving house help lot of things. But when house help is in problem or unwell, she becomes angry behind the scenes. She does not seem to have feelings of care for her.
Sometimes I don't know whether to feel kind towards her wounds / feelings or angry towards her actions because my emotions oscillate between these too. Sometimes I feel kindness towards her wounds and feel care for her. Sometimes I feel very angry towards her because of her actions.
As I understand, when a person is acting out of their wound, they become insensitive. It's extremely important to heal our wounds otherwise we relive the pain for years and inflict pain on others.
As a result, we live a painful life, act out of trauma, never feel really satisfied and unable to make real loving connection where both parties are truly happy with each other.
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