The hallmarks of a strong relationship with anyone, including a parent, sibling, spouse or significant other, is predictability, communication and stability. And while these three ingredients are hardly a cocktail for excitement and never ending passion, they are imperative for our success.
To feel secure in our relationships with others we need an element of predictability. We need to know how the people we love will react to the ordinary daily occurrences in life. If you ask someone to help with something you need to be able to reasonably expect they will say yes, barring your request being particularly cumbersome or interfering with their own daily work. If you share a feeling of discontent derived from your day or your relationship, it is important to know that it will be met with an openness rather than changing the subject or one upping your concerns or insisting your perspective is inaccurate.
When we are communicating with each other it is most often about our day to day planning and demands. These are the events and errands and chores that simply need to get done by someone on a regular basis. The more difficult topics to discuss with one another revolve around our emotions, dislikes, annoyances and disappointments. These topics can be difficult to raise, but if met with resistance, they are often not revisited.
Lastly, stability in our relationships is the driving force that supports our ability to remain focused on all of the other aspects of our life and work and play. When we know that the people we love are in our lives for the good and the bad, the sameness and the changes and the day in and day out, even if the challenges reduce what the relationship can provide for us temporarily, we can thrive in our sense of self, soar in our careers and fully express our joys.
When these three ingredients are synergistic and consistent in our lives, then we have dependable access to the best that our parents, siblings, spouses and significant others have to offer and we can give the same to them with consistency and ease.
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