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Thursday, 11 August 2022

[New post] Complex Much?

Site logo image Edna Sadberry posted: " After Bernie, it was scary sleeping alone, so the kids would pile in bed with Jean. Their little warm bodies helped her fall asleep and that's how they slept for months, all piled in together so no one else would disappear. Lovey had seen the tall man in" FEAR: Face Everything and Rise

Complex Much?

Edna Sadberry

Aug 11

After Bernie, it was scary sleeping alone, so the kids would pile in bed with Jean. Their little warm bodies helped her fall asleep and that's how they slept for months, all piled in together so no one else would disappear. Lovey had seen the tall man in the neighborhood after he took Bernie and he knew he would be back to get him so he stayed close to Jean. If he were close to her, he would be safe.

There was no time for healing and they all got on with their lives. No one ever talked about what happened. David watched in guilt and shame, as Jean cried everyday. She thought he didn't see her sitting in the dark crying. She didn't think he could hear,  but he watched. Watched to make sure she didn't leave. He took his eyes off Bernie and look what happened. He swore he would always take care of his mother and when he was old enough to be a father, he would never leave. Never abandon his kid, never treat his wife like Paul treated Jean. This silent declaration filled him with purpose. His job was to make sure nothing bad happened. His job was to protect.  

When he was old enough, Jean's sorrow was too much for him to take so he left, at her request. He went looking for better. He found a woman like his mother, what else was he to do? He knew nothing of love. He tried to be happy and felt guilt for his efforts. His mother wasn't happy and he knew nothing he did would make her happy. He loved and resented her at the same time.

The roots of his feelings were much stronger than resentment or love. It was borderline and he was too ashamed to admit it. He had no words for his feelings so he channeled them into an acceptable, although overly attentive, way to love her.

How Does the Oedipus Complex Work? In psychoanalytic theory, the Oedipus complex refers to the child's desire for sexual involvement with the opposite sex parent, particularly a boy's attention to his mother.

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