And nobody wants to.
People keep telling me I'm doing it wrong. Dating. Because I refuse to play games. I'm always straight up. I have sex early on.
They try to tell me
"Asteria, you need to play the game. Make him chase you. That's how he'll know you're worth it"
Why do I need to be hard to get to be worth it? Why do men automatically dismiss me if I have sex on the first date? I'm a nice person. I don't judge. I've been through shit and I'm compassionate and empathetic. I love hard and care deep and I'm decent in bed.
I don't want to "play the game". I want shit to be easy. I want people to be honest. I want to be accepted for who and what I am. I am a damaged woman who has had years of traumas, broken hearts, and bad experiences. I am a deep well of pain and self hatred. I also have a deep appreciation of beauty in little things.
I shouldn't need to change myself for someone to be able to see beauty in me. I don't want to have to change myself for someone to see beauty in my scars.
But people don't understand that. They don't get that I'd rather stay open and honest than lie and maneuver my way into a relationship. They want me to make adjustments.
Fuck that.
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