
A psychic lobster's vision can be a terrifying thing to behold
Michelangelo the Psychic Lobster was sitting in his lobster tank at Set Enterprises when some joker threw in a few tiny pieces of crab flavoured pollock.
Michelangelo ate the pieces and had the following vision:
"Donald Trump lunging at his secret service driver and trying to drive to the Capitol was an awfully stupid thing to do," Joe Biden remarked as he looked out the window.
"Mister President, what are you doing in the cockpit of Air Force One?" His pilot asked him.
"I'm going to try to fly this plane," Biden replied.
"Have you ever flown a plane before?" His startled pilot inquired.
"I did once in my dreams," Biden answered, "I imagine flying a plane is somewhat like riding a bicycle. One never forgets how to do it."
That was the end of Joe Biden.
. . .
Kamala Harris was in a museum when her tour guide was called away.
She wandered around the museum on her own.
She entered a museum exhibit entitled Instruments of Medieval Torture.
She happened to see a strange item that looked like an upright coffin or upright sarcophagus.
Beside the strange contraption was a sign that said IRON MAIDEN.
"I wonder if this has something to do with the heavy metal band," Harris scratched her head.
The coffin/sarcophagus door was open and on the inside of the door were huge protruding spikes.
"I wonder what these are," Harris touched the spikes and tried to think.
"Oh, I know," Harris hit her head, "These are probably spike protein antibodies like in the mRNA vaccines. This was probably an early vaccination method."
Harris walked inside the coffin/sarcophagus.
"Hey, it fits me perfectly," Harris grinned.
She thought for a moment.
"I wonder what happens when I close the door," Harris mused aloud as she did just that.
That was the end of Kamala Harris.
. . .
Speaker of the House Nancy Pelosi was in her room downing martinis as if they were glasses of lemonade.
She had the television on, she wasn't sure of the channel but on came a television show from the 1950s that featured the late Archbishop Fulton J. Sheen.
After a few minutes of listening to him, Pelosi said, "Who is this guy anyhow? Is he even Catholic?".
Sheen was talking about 1 Corinthians 11: 28-30 in which Saint Paul writes that those who take Communion unworthily eat and drink judgment on themselves.
"What a bunch of crap," Nancy Pelosi remarked.
That was the end of Nancy Pelosi.
. . .
Members of Joe Biden's cabinet within a 24 hour period were struck by lightning, turned into pillars of salt, had fire and brimstone rained upon them or died from the monkeypox virus.
. . .
"Well, Michelangelo," Set Enterprises' scientist Dr. Marmalade Montague asked the psychic lobster, "how did you like that crab flavoured pollock?".
Michelangelo asked for more.
-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Friday July 1st
2022.
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