How do you build consistent self-control and mental focus?

nelacanovic

Jul 25

Instead of treating self-control as a goal you'd like to have one day (or one you'll work on every other week), turn it into a way of life.

Make it the only way you do everything.

Practice every single day — no exceptions — by instilling a few small habits that will take root over time.

Don't make any more excuses.

Don't put it off.

In fact, start today. Here are 5 ideas to get you on the right track:

#1. Take ownership of your day.

Instead of waiting to respond to external factors (work or school assignments, a task given by your manager, other chores given by family members), take the day into your hands by asking one question that I use to start my mornings: "What is the one thing I am committed to completing today?" This technique will train your brain to start evaluating the goals that are important to you right now and prioritize one goal that needs immediate attention.

How can you do this?

Write it down on a sheet of paper and hang it on a wall in your home. Read it out loud as you start your day, for example as you're brushing your teeth or getting dressed. Come up with an answer on the spot and answer it out loud. Then take action: focus your energy throughout the day to completing your one thing.

#2. Don't delay work; attack it immediately.

It's not unusual to feel a sense of overwhelm because there are so many things you need to do, from small everyday chores and tasks to working on a large project. Of course, your first response can be to delay doing anything (because it's hard to decide what to do and in what order), which translates into a bad habit of procrastinating. What you're actually doing is ignoring your willpower reserves; they're at their highest peak early and then taper on as the day progresses. The solution? Do not delay what you know you'll have to do anyway.

How can you do this?

Once you've established your top priority, work on it as early in the day as possible. I try to start right around breakfast time. It can be a small thing that I can do in 30 minutes but I've been avoiding all week. Sometimes it's even shorter and can be completed in 10 minutes, but it feels unlpleasant and a chore. That doesn't matter. Set the timer for 10, 15, or 30 minutes and work on it right now. And the benefit? Feeling that you accomplished something important so early will set the tone to the rest of the day.

#3. Simplify a positive habit you can practice easily.

Let's imagine a scenario in which you neglected yourself, for example you've been saying you'll make healthier meals or work out regularly, but life gets in the way so the new habit never begins. Why would you avoid something that you know will most likely have positive results? Maybe it's the way you think about the habit — it's going to be difficult to do it, you cannot find the time, you're preparing for exams so you can't think about meal prepping right now, and so on. But are those thoughts really true? Or are you just setting it up to make it easier on yourself to delay some more? Maybe the simple answer is this: you complicate the habit to the point that it sounds like it's going to be excruciating to do. Simplifying it is a better solution.

How can you do this?

A good first step is to stop telling yourself that practicing self-control is self-punishment. It may feel unnatural at first to tackle a new habit like running early in the morning, but you're not a child being told what to do. You are making decisions for yourself and your well-being. And you are taking charge of your life. Do you see the difference, that shift in your attitude? It is one of the most important changes you will make that will allow you to stay focused. Another thing that is helpful is to break down something hard into manageable increments. One hour at the gym sounds like torture, but what about a 20-minute workout at home? If that's too long, how about you do two short workouts or walks of 10 minutes each? Make the task as easy to do as possible.

#4. Do not allow yourself to be distracted easily.

Yes, we may all have cell phones and use social media accounts to be informed, stay in touch with friends, and experience something funny, beautiful, or fascinating. But at the end of the day, social media is more of a distraction and less of a proactive experience. If you find yourself spending hours on Tik Tok or YouTube, maybe it's a good idea to ask yourself a few questions. What do I like to watch the most? How much time do I spend each day on this? When I'm done, how do I feel? What do I want to get out of this experience? Very often we go to our apps to distract ourselves from work, or to make time go by more quickly as we're waiting in a long line at the post office. The question is this — will you remember everything you've seen today one year from now? And if you won't, is there something better you can do with your time? In other words, minimize what distracts you to take charge of your time.

How can you do this?

If you feel anxiety, dread or overwhelm after spending time reading news on Twitter, you have to acknowledge these feelings. If an action doesn't add value to your life (or even reduces the quality of your emotions and your thoughts), do you need it? Eliminate what doesn't make sense to keep any more. Set your phone to Airplane mode when you need to focus. Don't let other people's schedules and priorities take over your own; let others know that you are working and won't allow interruptions. Check email and social media apps only in the afternoon and evening, and set your timer so you're aware at all times how many minutes you're dedicating to these activities.

#5. Keep a self-discipline journal.

Since you are making a lot of changes in the way you think and organize your days, a good idea is to document these changes. When you write things down, your brain can focus better to sort through new information, prioritize, make decisions, and plan out what needs to be done. In addition, when you have words written down on paper, it will feel like more of a commitment you are making towards your future. It's important to mark your progress in all these areas so you can track everything, including your thoughts and mood.

How can you do this?

Dedicate one notebook to this activity. For each day's entry, write down several prompts that you can answer on that day. Here are a few suggestions: What is the one thing I am committed to completing today? How will I distribute the work morning/afternoon/evening (create a plan)? What went well today, and what didn't (why)? What is one obstacle I can remove or reduce tomorrow?

If you are interested in this topic, head over to another section of my blog for information on an e-book and journal I created to help you build and maintain a self-disciplined lifestyle.