RelationDigest

Wednesday, 27 July 2022

[New post] Everyone can?

Site logo image Nimue Brown posted: " I'm here to support anyone doing a thing that works for them. It's always great seeing people winning. However, there's a world of difference between something that's good, or feasible for one person and the idea that everyone can do it or that everyone " Druid Life

Everyone can?

Nimue Brown

Jul 27

I'm here to support anyone doing a thing that works for them. It's always great seeing people winning. However, there's a world of difference between something that's good, or feasible for one person and the idea that everyone can do it or that everyone would benefit from it. There's often an unconscious element of ableism to saying that everyone could, or should do a thing.

I touched on this recently around veganism. I have friends who only have a handful of things their bodies can accept as foodstuffs. Health problems, allergies, cancers of the digestive system, Crohns, IBS, injury leading to loss of gut sections… there are many things that can compromise a person's ability to eat food. Making people feel bad about eating the few things they can actually eat doesn't seem like a good and ethical choice to me. Many people do well on a vegan diet. Not everyone.

This shows up in a spiritual context far too often. Yoga doesn't work for everyone - it's a really bad idea for anyone who is hypermobile. Meditation doesn't work for everyone - not everyone's brains work the same way, and for the person dealing with constant pain, greater bodily awareness isn't a good idea. Not everyone can visualise - because not everyone can see and not everyone is capable of visual imagination even if they can see. 

It doesn't matter how beneficial a thing can be, there will always be someone it doesn't work for. You can count on there being people who could not do the thing in question even if they really wanted to. Treating those people like they don't exist isn't ok. Talking about anything we might do in a way that humiliates people who cannot possibly do it, isn't ok. All too often the 'everyone should' content comes with a side order of blaming people for things they can't do, and encouraging feelings of shame. This comes up a lot around the diet industry.

Stopping saying 'everyone' is a very small shift that allows a lot of inclusion. It doesn't take much thought or effort to stop asserting that everyone can do a thing, and replacing it with 'many people would benefit from' or similar. It's not even that much work to think about who might not benefit from the thing you are so very invested in. Many of us are in a position to do better with this.

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