RelationDigest

Friday, 8 July 2022

[New post] ENNEAGRAM 9

Site logo image myjourney posted: " We are still in the ACTION CENTRE of the Enneagram and will take a closer look at Enneagram 9 - The ADAPTIVE PEACEMAKER. They are often also called The OPTIMIST, The COMFORTER, or The MEDIATOR. "I am okay as long as the people around me are okay too. " MY JOURNEY

ENNEAGRAM 9

myjourney

Jul 8

We are still in the ACTION CENTRE of the Enneagram and will take a closer look at Enneagram 9 - The ADAPTIVE PEACEMAKER. They are often also called The OPTIMIST, The COMFORTER, or The MEDIATOR.

"I am okay as long as the people around me are okay too. The world would be a better place if people could treat each other with respect. I must keep the peace; I must be tolerant and accepting; Can't everyone just get along? "

ENNEAGRAM 9:

"Most people thing of peace as a state of Nothing Bad Happening, or Nothing Much Happening. Yet if peace is to overtake us and make us the gift of serenity and well-being, it will have to be the state of Something Good Happening." — E. B. White

They are easygoing, accepting, trusting, and stable. Enneagram Nines are very kind-hearted, accommodating, accepting, and supportive of others, motivated by a need to be settled and in harmony with the world. So it is only logical for them to strive for a peaceful existence having an appreciation for stability, preferring to avoid conflict. They struggle with procrastination and do not like change. Enneagram Nines are good listeners, being able to listen to multiple perspectives, synthesise and find common ground within differences. They are also very patient, doing things in a calm, sustainable way. Enneagram Nines are known to be unpretentious and authentic - what you see is what you get, and others feel very much at ease with them.


As with all Enneagram types, the Ennea 9 also has its very personal four v's!

Vulnerability (or core fear) - Conflict

This is not really a surprise as Enneagram Nines fear chaos, turmoil as well as hurt feelings that tend to follow the conflict. So they may go to great lengths to avoid conflict and keep the peace, no matter what the cost to them personally.

Vice - Self-forgetting (Sloth)

Enneagram Nines may often seem busy but they can be lazy without paying attention to themselves and their own needs which leads to self-forgetting and even self-neglect. This self-forgetting is often used as an excuse to not make decisions and give themselves permission to procrastinate to avoid conflict.

Value - Peace

They highly value harmony, being accommodating, and accepting.

Virtue - Authentic action

Authentic, or right action is about moving out of inertia and discovering their own true intention and purpose and acting on them. Nines begin to live more fully when they discover what they really believe in and act on what they authentically think and feel.

"Men need some kind of external activity, because they are inactive within." — Schopenhauer


When the Nines are at their very best, they are grounded and fully able to express their own voice which enables them to bring insight to themselves and the world. They are experienced as self-aware and vibrant by others.

At their worst, they tend to procrastinate and can not only be stubborn but even self-denying. They just go along to get along with others but feel very uncomfortable when this strategy does not meet their needs.

The blind spots of the Enneagram Nines include:

  • Nines avoid being controlled by others in a counter-intuitive way, by being passive, non-assertive, and unmoved.
  • Nines want to avoid being controversial. Despite disliking it when people pressurize them into something, they also have difficulty saying no to people. While Nines will go out of their way to accommodate others and downplay their own needs, setting themselves up to be overlooked, Nines dislike being ignored.
  • Many Enneagram Nines are unaware of their own passive-aggressive behaviour patterns and how these affect others around them.
  • In pursuing their need to ensure that everyone is being heard, Nines often present multiple viewpoints in conversation with others. This may lead to drawn-out, lengthy explanations that cause the listener to lose interest. It can also impact negatively on the Nine's degree of influence and even credibility.
  • In being diplomatic and accommodating, Nines may fail to make their true needs, desires, and feelings known to the people around them. The Nine may feel that they are doing so very clearly, but due to their approach, others may miss what they really want and need. It may also be that these needs and feelings are only being articulated in the Nine's head and not being shared with others as openly and frequently as they think.

Two of my absolute favorite people in the world are Enneagram Nines - my daughter and my son. I introduced them to the Enneagram as early as possible to support them in better understanding themselves. They are the best proof that even if they are the same type, with the same subtype, can be very much alike in many aspects and different in so many others. One of the things they have in common is making lists of everything they need to do which helps them to stay focused. This is just one example of many how knowing more about yourself and your motivation can help in becoming a healthier version of yourself.


To summarise, Nines emphasise the positive qualities of others and of their environment. They idealise their world. They like to avoid seeing problems with their loved ones especially, their environment as well as their own lack of development. Nines have the tendency to feel overwhelmed by their own need as well as the needs of others, not wanting to deal with either. They are amazing friends and great listeners and loyal to a fault.

"There is a price which is too great to pay for peace, and that price can be put in one word. One cannot pay the price of self-respect." — Woodrow Wilson


🎶My Song of the Week

For more good music, go to this Spotify playlist where you can find all the songs from the Blog!


📚My Poem of the Week

Is by my favorite Irish poet William Butler Yeats (1865-1939)

Peace

Ah, that Time could touch a form
That could show what Homer's age
Bred to be a hero's wage.
'Were not all her life but storm
Would not painters paint a form
Of such noble lines,' I said,
'Such a delicate high head,
All that sternness amid charm,
All that sweetness amid strength?'
Ah, but peace that comes at length,
Came when Time had touched her form.


👀Impressions

The totem of the Enneagram 9 is the never forgetting elephant.


If I piqued your interest to find out more about the Enneagram, your type, and yourself, and how it can transform you and your life, I would be happy to take the time for a speed coaching call that you can reserve right here, go to my website or simply hit reply and get in touch with me directly.

Wishing you a wonderful start to your weekend!

Yours

Tanja 🤗

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