Selorm Speaks posted: " Kwesi and Kirk waited outside while their parents had gone into the war to see Pastor Vincent. He had regained consciousness and they – together with Pastor and Mrs Gilbert-Eshun – insisted on seeing him before they left. Rev Boamah had called back" Selorm Speaks
Kwesi and Kirk waited outside while their parents had gone into the war to see Pastor Vincent. He had regained consciousness and they – together with Pastor and Mrs Gilbert-Eshun – insisted on seeing him before they left. Rev Boamah had called back and was agitated by the situation. They recommended that it was too late for him to drive to the hospital and that he should come the next day instead. Kirk and Kwesi only wondered how easy or uneasy it was for their parents to go in to see Pastor Vincent. They could not bring themselves to understand that their parents were just fraternizing with the enemy in that regard. Kwesi mentioned what their father had said about forgiveness to Kirk. Kirk felt their parents were going overboard and being too kind and nice. Kwesi thought otherwise. After his conversation with his father, he seemed to understand him, to get what he meant and feel what he felt. He placed himself in the situation they were discussing. Imagine he was Clara's father and this had happened, he would not find it easy helping the very same man who had done that to his daughter. He would not even make a move to ensure that everything was fine with the same man in this way. However, he could feel the knot in his heart even when he placed himself in the situation. He could not feel comfortable having to deal with a man who had raped his daughter. He could not imagine the effort it would take to avoid him, to met out some evil, some damage to him and neither would it make him feel happy if the same man was dead.
"But it wouldn't make them happy to see him ruined, or worse left for dead, Kirk. That is the reality. They are good people and nothing would ever change that. It is not worth trading," Kwesi said suddenly.
Kirk looked at him and nodded his head. He took a sip of water and said, "How you're becoming a pastor lately surprises me." They laughed it off.
A few minutes later, Mr and Mrs Haynes stepped out with Pastor and Mrs Gilbert-Eshun. They spoke for less than five minutes and walked up to their sons.
"Time to get back home," Mrs Haynes said. They walked out of the hospital and into their car.
All the while, Kirk was still wondering how his parents had been able to maintain so much calm and decorum in the face of the man who had done their family so much wrong. However, what their father said to Kwesi, which Kwesi had mentioned to him, kept coming back to mind as he drove the family home. His driving was moderate this time. He was lost in thought but snapped back into reality when he heard his father mention Pastor Vincent's name.
"He was surprised to see us at the hospital. He could not address us. There was too much shame in his face and his aura, he couldn't even look up. And for a moment, I was sad…" Mrs Haynes sounded very rueful. She could not erase the picture of the young man who was now recovering bowing his head the entire time he was being spoken to. That she felt some pity for the young man who had done her daughter and family a great dishonour was not comfortable in any possible way.
"Baaba, enough of Pastor Vincent's issue now," Mr Haynes said. He knew that if he hadn't said so, she would keep up the drama until they reached home. "At least he is safe now and we can go get a goodnight's sleep."
"Alright, darling. If you say so… But it was really sad for me."
Kirk smirked. "Mum, the way you are talking, it seems left to you alone, he should not be prosecuted or something."
"Which is not happening today nor tomorrow. He must answer to the laws of the land. By morning, he should have policemen by his bed asking him questions to answer all their information needs for a good cause. I am not relenting on that and neither is your mum. It was just sad to see him in that state." Mr Haynes said, almost without a tickle of emotion. He knew he sounded very heartless but he could not play by the usual way of life. He was never one to let things slide that easily. What is right must be done.
"Hmmmmm!' Mrs Haynes sighed. "In there I wondered what led him to do what he did and why he did what he did. Such a great and promising young man… So much potential. And he has simply cut all of that away with just one foul action that could have been avoided."
"Maybe he didn't intend to do it either…" Kwesi said.
Kirk retorted, "And what do you mean by that? If he did not intend to do it, why did he do it then?"
"Well, I do not know. From the way mum and dad are testifying to his remorse, that is all I can say. Maybe he now sees really that it was not intentional but rather a response to a desire he could have controlled. I mean we are all youthful and the desire for sex would never elude our every fleeting feeling but what to do with the desire is the issue here." Kwesi said slowly. When he realised everyone was quiet, listening to him, he stopped.
"Well, go on. I was listening." Mr Haynes said to break the sudden silence.
"Dad, I am done. But honestly, that is what I think."
"You generally mean, Kwesi, that Vincent is simply a victim of circumstance and misguided action?"
Kwesi sighed. The only example that came to his mind would not be pleasant to his parent and Kirk's hearing. This was the main reason for his appeal for a loan. He had been a victim of circumstance, his actions in that situation were misguided enough to land him near bankruptcy. Should he talk about it now?
"Yes, where in this case his circumstance was his being lustful and his misguided act was choosing to force himself on the prettiest female he saw, regardless of any other thing. Instead of him saying a prayer to quench his vicious thirst…" Kwesi chuckled. He did not believe what he had just said but because it was a pastor he was talking about, he had to maintain his spirituality, especially in this car.
"Well, you have a point. He may have been in some struggle we would never know, especially being a young unmarried man and being surrounded by other young people you may be attracted to…" Mr Haynes said.
Kwesi turned to look at his father. He smiled at him and began. "Dad? So, you know that young people struggle with sexual desires and/or lust?"
"Ah Kwesi, but that is no secret." Mrs Haynes responded with a giggle. She thought Kwesi's question was absurd.
"So why do you people make a big deal about the fact that someone has had sex? That someone has gotten pregnant without marriage? Those people are engaged in a lot of lustful activities because they may also be victims of some circumstances, especially of their feelings and desires. Why? I ask because you all seem so grave whenever sex is mentioned and whenever someone you know – a young person – may have been engaged in the act when not married? Maybe they couldn't control themselves? Or maybe they had no choice? Or maybe it is just a misguided choice of action? Or?" Kwesi asked.
"My son, now listen to me," Mr Haynes began. "We know these things because we have been at those stages. Maybe our being scandalized as parents comes from two points. The first is that we must be scandalized for you to understand the seriousness of sex, engaging in sexual activities, and the effects it can bring. You Kwesi may have brought home an illegitimate child already and that would have affected you greatly. Let's not behave as if the act is something we should normalise just like that for our young and youthful sons and daughters who are unmarried. It may be that there are undeniable feelings but in the name of keeping you alarmed about what you entering ahead of marriage, we need to keep that stance where we are never calmed about it."
"No, dad, I did not say come and tell us nicely. I am saying there should be conversations on it such that we get why you are so serious about it. Surely, we would get that…"
"Kwesi, even if your dad and I held conversations about this, we still need to keep up that scandalised posture. Trust me, it is scary too on this site trying to tell your child much more about life and its realities. The moment you choose to share, you are offering your child the power to choose too and if we do not do so well, we could be doomed." Mrs Haynes added.
"Not that I am satisfied but what is your second reason?" Kwesi asked.
"The recklessness of the generation. That alone gets us unnerved. The generation doesn't seem to take information and do well with it, to benefit themselves one way or the other. Some of the people that have gone recalcitrant too may have been given adequate and less scandalised sex education yet… And our parents barely made these conversations this open so I guess we too are now learning to handle you all." Mr Haynes said, remembering his conversation with Kwesi.
"But at least, an open conversation would help us to learn these things from our home where it is safe to learn. I mean I did not get what was happening to me every time I woke up with an erection. I felt that was normal until SHS when some boys would be engaged in some nasty stuff early in the morning… Then I knew okay, ermmm okay…" Kirk added his voice to the conversation. He had his struggles, although he handled himself well. However, he was with Kwesi on this. "If I knew, I would have managed my emotions better and not think so much that this was something nasty. I needed to think this was part of growing up and I only needed to manage it well."
"That is my point mum and dad. Kirk may have been the pious one but not I and you know it. However, your points are real, too. I don't know how but I would have to learn in my child's generation how to go about it with him or her."
"Look, we do get it that we may not have been open enough on a lot but I guess one thing we have maintained is the key lesson of responsibility. I think we should have hammered it in with the issue of sex and desires of it, that you are responsible for what you do with the urges that come and you would need to make the right choice. Thinking of it as something bad alone is indeed not enough but come on, the consequences, at least, were spelt out. We did not give it as a cool lesson but are you telling me that the little you got to understand about the consequences eluded you?" Mr Haynes did not get the bit where they wanted an open conversation without acknowledging that the little instructions were also worth it.
Kirk and Kwesi agreed that the instructions were guides to some extent.
"At least, it did not let us be victims of circumstance nor lead us out of guided choices. I am no virgin but neither have I also gone haywire." Kwesi admitted.
"Kwesi, if you had said you were a virgin, I would have screeched to a horrible halt. But dad, we still had to live the youthful circumstance of wanting sex, of being attracted to ladies etc. Pornographic stuff, the least of it, awakened something in us. Maybe the conversations would have helped." Kirk said.
"Guys, what I believe is that whether we had opened the conversation or not, told you about sex or not – which we should have – becoming a victim of the circumstance depends on how much of the responsibility lesson you took. Kwesi admits we succeeded in deterring him from being sexually reckless. Did we open the conversation? No. But did we give instructions as parents? Yes. At least isn't that enough to save you from being prey to the insanity of the world today? At least before you accuse us of not saying some stuff, we have at least done our best to save you from being victims of circumstances like sexual activities and being misguided. But there was more we could have done. At least Clara would have seen signs and not been a victim of the circumstances of the evil world out here." Mr Haynes' voice dropped. He reached for his wife's hand and held it.
"Now that…" Kwesi said. They had reached their gate. Kirk pressed the horn on the steering wheel.
"Yes, son. We should have done more. Although the instructions were adequate, knowledge is power and we could have equally done well to guide you away from the wrong choice amid the knowledge given." Mrs Haynes said. The car pulled through the opened gates.
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