We all experience some form of rejection. However, not everyone handles rejection the same way. Many individuals take rejection quite personally, mainly because they assume that being rejected means they are not love-worthy or a human failure. People reject all types of things for all kinds of reasons, and often it is based on what they need, which has nothing to do with who we are.
There are numerous reasons folks reject us; here are a few ones:
1. Individuals change their minds about what they want
2. People are not always as ready for full-time commitment as they assumed and often don't want to tell us because they don't want to appear heartless
3. Sometimes individuals just want to be friends and nothing more, yet they are afraid to hurt our feelings
4. Some individuals lack relationships skills, so they hop from relationship to relationship sabotaging themselves
5. Some folks only get involved to avoid feeling lonely and discover they are repeating old patterns, so they decide to break free.
6. Not everyone can be in a traditional relationship, and as a result, when they feel we want commitment, they vanish
7. Some people are relationship butterflies, going from one person to another
How to cope
It is essential not to use being rejected as a tool for self-abusive behaviors, like neglecting yourself or starting self-medication. To help you overcome the tendency to take rejection as a personal failure, here are a few ideas to help you:
Practice Self-compassion – Avoid allowing rejection as a means to view yourself in the worse light. It is ok to acknowledge your pain but be gentle with yourself.
Self-acceptance - The more you honor yourself and your worth, the less someone's views or opinions of you matter. Remember, you do not require the approval of others to feel worthy or valuable.
Avoid destructive behaviors - Though you will have strong feelings, it is essential not to destroy everything in your path, especially yourself.
Take time to reflect - Use this opportunity to write down what you feel and why you feel this way.
Personal Boundaries - People have different boundaries when it comes to relationship needs. The truth, based on specific individual needs, and relationship preferences, we may not be the ideal person.
Avoid self-judgment – People have many reasons for not wanting a relationship. A person's relationship preferences do not reflect our values. Avoid being rejected as a weapon to belittle yourself or be critical of who you are.
Reframe your views – Consider that many folks get involved too quickly and often confuse lust or the need to avoid loneliness for relationship readiness. As soon as they realize their actual reasons for getting involved, they often decide it's time to let go.
Stop replaying the rejection scene – Though it is helpful to review what rejection means for you and allow yourself to feel your feelings, it is not healthy to dwell. Replaying the rejection tapes only reinforces negative self-views and keeps you in a state of pain.
Forgive and let go – It is normal to feel intense feelings and have internal reactions to rejection. However, lingering in pain or anger does not fill the void or heal the wound. Staying stuck on the anger rejection makes us bitter and contributes to emotional roadblocks.
We all get involved with individuals at one time or another that we thought was the ideal companion, and after spending some time with them, we learn we don't have as much in common as we imagined. We often create excuses or come up with reasons to avoid getting involved. Or, perhaps, you are not the type to do a lot of dating and have been waiting for a particular person. Of course, when the person you thought was ideal for you doesn't want the same, we take it personally. The reality is that if we are not doing the rejection, someone is rejecting us.
The key to surviving rejection is simply to redefine what it means and why it occurs.
Copyright © 2022. R. Castro
No comments:
Post a Comment