Taking all the time you need to grieve

rheadopmeijer

Jun 7

Taking all the time you need to grieve is something I heard some time ago. It is what it takes to let the emotions come up. Allowing them, and thank them for showing up, for these are the signs there is something to address. Whenever they come up, it is up to me to follow the flow of thoughts as well the emotion that is its companion.

Some are about feeling alone, some are about loss of the physical, others are more about the need to stay in the now not to be overwhelmed with a prospect of a lifetime without my love. New roads to explore, new ways to embrace. Not always willingly, yet always conscious, aware of the necessity. For that is what it takes to be fully aware again of my purpose in life. My goal needs adjusting again, with the focus on myself instead of taking care of others as well.

Now it comes down to it. How good am I in taking care of me? Am I able to give as much love and support to me as I was able to give to my love and family as well? For that is key here. The way I can nourish myself, in any way or area of my life. Taking good care of my body to stay healthy.

To create a safe and loving environment for myself. Make sure I am in the presence of people who are uplifting my energy. Allowing the emotions to come up and accepting the fear, the sorrow, the grief as well the joy and happiness to balance it out.

For this is of big importance, to stay balanced. Room for any emotion to be acknowledged, no matter what caused or triggered them. Sometimes even without knowing what it was that brings up the tears. It can be a song, or something I hear on the radio. It may bring up the love and connection as well the emptiness at times lying in bed or sitting in my room. Places we have spent together, pictures that come along unexpectedly.

All these elements are part of this new journey and I also know, this is not the first time if you have walked this journey. Losing someone I love has been part of my existence. Only did it not feel as loss, this is just an expression people around me use a lot. You lost someone, they say.

All I feel is the way this resonates deep within me. I didn't lose my love, how can I. My heart is filled with so much love we shared together, it still feels tangible. It fills up this home we share, which is still ours.

You left the physical plane to exist and be in the other realm, or dimension. Whatever word we chose for this state of being. Do I grieve your departure, yes? I would have loved to be together for another 30 years and somehow, we are. Still deeply connected with me. My journey continues to fulfil my own purpose. Our agreement has been fulfilled, and we prevailed in a wonderful magical way.

In order to create, I must let go or allow the energy to come to me every day without forcing and even knowing how, just put one foot in front of the other. Not by being passive and waiting for what life will throw at me. I am participant as well creator in my own way how this will enfold.

For I choose to be in a loving condition no matter what it takes to be the best I can be. I choose Love over fear, to take me to the next level of consciousness and awareness. To act and react in a way that will do me honor and with the respect that I deserve, just because I am worth it.

This is key, knowing I am worth it to be loved. The most important decision I can make is to love my self abundantly and proud. To receive is as important as to give, also to myself. For this hasn't been an easy lesson for me. It always felt easier to give than to receive.

This time is about the ability to receive as well. Love is not a one-way street, it comes from both directions in the giving, sharing, and receiving. For caring must be not just for another, caring also needs to be for yourself.

That I know for a fact to be truth. This whole process of grievance isn't just about the transition my love made and leaving this physical reality. It is also about the emotions that are being triggered to come up and out in the open, what still lingers within my cells and system. It brought up old issues that needed to be taken care of. Furthermore, it showed what still is entwined without knowledge it still was hidden.

There is so much that relates to old patterns and emotional wounds that is being exposed in this turmoil of my life. So, I am thankful and grateful it comes to surface, so I can do my own healing. No door will stay locked, no box will be filled any longer, everything is open and raw, yet it is time to let go of it all. So, thank you, thank you for all you have given me.

As well this gift of your transition which is way bigger than the loss, for this is also in my benefit to grasp it all, every bit of it, every detail, every emotion to let come up and let go. Breathing my way through it. Just let it pass when it comes up. Giving it the space and time, it needs. That is what this means, this expression, to me. Taking all the time I need to grieve, for it will expose every bit of energy that is stuck and needs to flow again, with love and grace.

Comment