RelationDigest

Sunday, 5 June 2022

[New post] Men Are Not Invading Women’s Spaces

Site logo image Nimue Brown posted: " One of the things the terfs/gender criticals are banging on about at the moment is the idea that trans women are men who want to invade women's spaces. I've been trying to think of an example of cis men invading female spaces, and it isn't easy, Boys run" Druid Life

Men Are Not Invading Women's Spaces

Nimue Brown

Jun 5

One of the things the terfs/gender criticals are banging on about at the moment is the idea that trans women are men who want to invade women's spaces. I've been trying to think of an example of cis men invading female spaces, and it isn't easy, Boys running into the girl's toilets on dares at school being the only example I've encountered.

In my experience, men who support women treat women in toilets and changing rooms respectfully. Men who are into the patriarchy and who are doing the toxic masculinity tend to have a horror of anything feminine. They don't want to be seen as girly, or effeminate, so anything labelled 'women' is likely to make them flee.

The men who do not like women tend to deride women's spaces. They won't invade it, but they may try and get it defunded, or treat it as a joke. Look at what happens around sport. The worst of them have no interest in invading the space, but they may not want the space to exist. Protecting the rights of women to participate can mean defending spaces/activities, not from invasion but from destruction.

Patriarchal approaches have always denigrated women's spaces. Any work that seems feminine is treated as lesser. And so the kitchen, the nursery and the sick room are places the more toxic men don't want to go. By staying out of these spaces and designating them as 'for women' they also dodge a great deal of domestic and caring work, which tends to be tedious, and arduous stuff with a side-order of massive responsibility for keeping people alive.

The only men I've seen wanting to enter these 'female' spaces weren't there as 'invaders' but to tackle the evils of gender stereotypes and to do something good. Men who go into nursing, and who undertake to teach children. Men who get into kitchens to do the everyday work of making a household viable. Men who don't see a relationship between cleaning, and genitals.

We have longstanding problems with the devaluing of anything considered feminine. We have a history of treating some spaces as feminine in a way that harms women, and puts the burden of unpaid domestic labour onto the shoulders of women. Once again I think what we have here is 'gender critical' people focusing on a non-existent problem that allows them to attack trans women. It takes attention away from real issues, from actual sexism and from the kind of harm that sexism routinely causes.

As a female appearing person (I'm nonbinary, but you can't tell by looking) I don't want to be pushed into the limiting take on 'female' spaces. I've had those experiences. I don't want to be sent off to look after the children, or make the tea, I want just as much right to be in the spaces where other things are happening as anyone male-presenting has. And while we're at it, I want there to be male teachers of small children, and male nurses, and cleaners and all the rest of it. I want to dismantle the idea that certain kinds of spaces, and certain sorts of jobs should be for one gender only. The idea that we need to keep men out of 'female spaces' is more likely to disempower women than keep anyone safe. 

We all need safe spaces to pee, and to change for sports activities. I want cubicles. I find that lockable doors answer all my safety needs. I also want dads to be able to take their kids into changing rooms and toilets.

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