when triggers become a gift

rheadopmeijer

May 21

When triggers become a gift

Today started with a walk in the early morning and waiting for the dog to catch up, found myself standing in the Sunlight. Time to let go of anything that might hold me back, old memories of the past 40 years or so which are still lingering. An invite was a trigger to it all. Looking back over the time I have spend, it feels like an old lifetime almost.

There isn't the connection I used to have with a lot of family members as during our marriage till my love made his transition. It also made me think or rather feel my inner resistance if I would accept this invite or not. I was swaying between the yes, you should, and the no I have no need to attend.

We all know this swaying of the pendulum I guess. What is important how you make your choice or take a decision. This morning was about cutting the cords that connected me to this sense of sorrow, anger, frustration I have had along this lifetime. Stepping into a new future without these attachments that still ask their attention from time to time.

Grateful I am for the triggers, because they show me what it is, that still needs love and attention. Today it felt like shedding of an old body. Unwrapping the new one that is filled with more love and light energy. Because while we do this sacred cleaning and cleansing, the clearing of our inner well, we mirror our Source more and more in all its clarity.

So standing there with my eyes closed embracing all that was coming forth, it made me aware how much I am already connected with this new way of receiving. As well with less and less effort I am ready and able to pick up the trace of energy, in order to release it in love. I don't want to hold any grudge, nor do I want to be held back by myself as well. I need to be my best ally in order to enfold this precious inner Light that is felt within.

On my way in a different phase of my life. Feeling the energy of standing on my own 2 feet. Never disconnected from my love, yet it all will be flowing in a different type of energy as well relationship. I realize that over the past few years a lot has grown inside me, how much strength there is to move through life. Including the sense of missing some one beside me, to be able to share and receive as well.

I know my love will always play a big role in my present, past as well future life. He has made so much impact on so many people during his life and still is missed by many. In order to move on and forward as well, the roles we played this lifetime has come to an end. As well all that still is connected in our past lifetime within the family patterns. What ever happened, happened in the past.

Whatever isn't cleared yet, healed or dealt with, is touched by triggers. This applies me the tool to be aware again what I still am struggling with. It's time, cutting the cords, releasing the stuck energy and do this with love. No longer do I need to be protective, concerned, worried or stand up. It doesn't serve me any longer, and it certainly doesn't serve us.

Ask yourself why you judge and condemn yourself so harshly. Be willing to follow your Inner shadow processes in order to learn from their Gifts. Make your Heart a sanctuary and Self Love your security. I was reading this as well, so it acknowledged my intention even more. Letting go of the emotions of frustration and bitterness is creating so much space within your heart.

As it is shining outwards as well. For we are all connected with each other. So through forgiveness as well we can let go of any that has happened in our past, which no longer serves us. To me, this is timely connected as well with my new way of living solo, no longer physical part of our partnership in my loving relationship with my love.

What a difference this has been for the past 2 years. Finding my new roots as well setting my intentions to be alive, with a big smile and love to the fullest. Has it been easy, no it had its challenges and trials along the way. Yet I feel I am carried as well held in the love we share, either her in the physical as well through the veil.

There is so much to feel blessed and grateful for, that I know he would want me to let go of any old grudge against members of his family. Letting go of old hurt and pain, denial and negativity. To stand tall in my own heart space, no longer in my initial reactions of defend or fight against. I live my life with the knowledge there is compassion for every reaction as well the vision of the soul and their journey.

Cutting all energy cords that are standing in my path to be fully alive. Because that's what these cords are doing to me. It's holding me back and it is time to step forward. Even if that means I am no longer part of a group, which always has been an illusion anyway. Yet with love and compassion for myself as well for those who need it the most.

Because there is so much pain that needs to be healed if the actions and reactions come from a place of hurt. In my own way I have kept this energy stuck as well. All I can do and need to do, is bring in the love and light for every soul, creating a safe space for each and every one of them.

And so it will be done

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