RelationDigest

Tuesday, 3 May 2022

[New post] “The Wedding is the Easy Part”

Site logo image Martha Kennedy posted: " Seeing the prompt today -- "Wedding" -- I realized that the only weddings I've attended have been my own. I've been part of some pre-wedding stuff for my cousins, but otherwise? No. The only person saying "I do" in my life has been me, and as we know, I "

"The Wedding is the Easy Part"

Martha Kennedy

May 3

Seeing the prompt today -- "Wedding" -- I realized that the only weddings I've attended have been my own. I've been part of some pre-wedding stuff for my cousins, but otherwise? No. The only person saying "I do" in my life has been me, and as we know, I don't. I should have said, "I might" not "I do."

My first wedding was the whole shebang with expensive white dress, people in the church, reception, all of it. I was 22 and had known my husband since 9th grade. Our meeting in Mr. Morland's biology class was one of those movie things -- eyes meet, sparks fly but it was years (four) before we went out together. We're in some classes together throughout high school. Various girlfriends and boyfriends and finally we find each other. I seriously think this might have been made into a Hollywood movie... Hmmm. ANYHOO it lasted 6 pretty miserable and scary years.

No, I wasn't that innocent but nice photo...

Looking back I don't know if it was a mistake or not. Back then, marriage was one of the "easiest" ways for a girl to get out of the family house.

The second wedding was a lot simpler. It happened in my mom's backyard. I guess I shredded the photos of that in the great Purge of the Evidence of the Examined Life. BUT I had a GREAT dress and everyone had a good time. The only downside is that the man I probably SHOULD have married showed up a couple days before the wedding. I hadn't seen him in years. He lived in Europe. He'd just packed up, crossed the "pond," got a job delivering a new car across the US to deliver them so he could get to me economically. Long story... Anyway, the Good X and I got home from ordering the wedding cake and found him on the steps to our apartment building. The day of my wedding, even my mom said, "So who IS the groom?"

When the universe speaks to me, even shouting isn't loud enough. The Good X and I had 12 mostly OK years together. We're still friends and a kind of family.

There was a third wedding, and it was my favorite. Extremely low-key. It even had a reason beyond "luv'". In fact the witness -- my good friend -- took me aside and said, "This doesn't have anything to do with 'luv' does it?"

"No, god no."

"OK. Then I'll do it. Let's go."

Destiny designs rollercoasters for each of us and these were some of the "thrills" on mine.

Some weddings lead to happy, if complex, lives together. I admire that. Here are two that I know of. ❤

My grandparents' 50 year anniversary and their kids, all but one who died as a child.
My aunt and uncle, 50 year anniversary -- 50 of 64 years together, mostly happy ❤

Tuesday RDP: wedding!

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