Relationship Revival

Rosa Castro Psy.D

May 30

Most individuals enter relationships under the false notion that having good sex and being in love is enough. Though love and good sex may be key ingredients in keeping us in a relationship, it is not enough to create harmony.

Once they start living together or get married, many couples fall into the mindset that they have achieved their main relationship goal and that everything will work out. Once a commitment has been established, many individuals focus on monetary goals rather than maintaining their relationships. Money becomes the focus due to wanting kids or buying a home or simply achieving social status, and as a result, the relationship takes a back seat.

I hate to sound like a cliché, but relationships take work more than money. When I refer to work, I am talking about keeping ourselves not just in love but connected to our partners on different levels.

Here are a few tips on how to keep your relationship bliss:

Keep the romance going regardless of how busy your lives become
Attempt to have at least one meal a day together without looking at the television or texting
Learn the art of active listening
Learn to communicate directly instead of seeking outside input. Sometimes outsiders, even when they mean well, can create more problems.
Practice acts of kindness with each other.
Remember the special events like birthdays, anniversaries
Make time for intimacy at least once a week, even if there is no sexual activity
Spend at least a few hours outdoors together; this allows you to get vitamin D and get out of the routine
Cook one meal together
Clean and organize your home together at least once a week
If you have kids or pets, spend one afternoon outdoors.
Do random acts of kindness for each other, such as buy flowers, your partner's favorite treat.
Have a regular date night without focusing on anyone other than each other. (Get a babysitter if possible, or put your kids to bed early so you can spend time alone)
Date night can be anything you like, such as playing video games, watching a movie at home or out, making a romantic dinner, or going to a fancy restaurant; it can be any style you both enjoy)
Do a weekly activity together, participate in a sport, art class, book club, gym, hike, game night, etc.
Learn to manage your disagreements constructively, without put-downs or criticism. Disputes require learning to create solutions together and not placing blame.
Make a gratitude list of what is working and build from there
Review your gratitude list daily to reinforce the good things

Keep in mind; all couples get into a routine when they get married., however, the maintenance part of a relationship will contribute to a long-lasting, harmonious union.

Comment