Linear Spuds?

insanitybytes22

May 22

I am chuckling, but this little meme is philosophy 101. It is also a perfect description of linear thinking. Linear thinking is black and white, "yes or no," hot or cold. It is devoid of all nuance and if it ran into a paradox, it would probably clutch its pearls and faint dead away.

It's also kind of lazy thinking. It wants a tidy, simple world, one it can control. Linear thinking makes me absolutely crazy, but don't get me wrong, it serves a necessary and vital purpose, like when needing to make split second decisions. One problem with the modern world is that we're terribly impatient and so we falsely conclude everything requires speed and split second decisions.

Linear thinking tends to make us really reactionary, quick to leap to a knee jerk, emotional response to any perceived threat. That might be a good thing if you are about to be charged by an angry mama bear. Then again it might not, on account of the fact that you probably can't outrun a bear? Never mind, don't ask me how that works, theories around evolution seldom make any sense to me. Speaking of evolution, we do share a great deal of dna with apes. We also happen to share a great deal of dna with potatoes. True story. Just saying.

I was going to post a link to an article that gave a great description of linear thinking, but then it went and said, "Linear thinking is characterized by logical and analytical thinking and you must choose your category!" I need a really big facepalm, because I just wanted to scream. No, no, and no! No it is not logical and analytical and no, you do not "have to" choose. I'm going to take it a step farther and declare linear thinking to be almost completely devoid of analytical anything. In fact, it hardly even qualifies as "thinking" in the first place.

One of my favorite examples is from the old commercial, "choosy moms choose Jif." After seeing that, buying the right peanut butter sounds logical and analytical, but in truth it is a reactionary response to advertising. We are being reactionary linear thinkers, good moms go with the good peanut butter, bad moms go with bad peanut butter. See, easy choice, don't even have to think about it, no need to dig further or do anything crazy like, actually reading the ingredients or doing any research.

Linear thinking is also extremely toxic when it comes to human relationships. People are really diverse and complex. The world we live in is full of nuances, shades of grey, and different perspectives, different circumstances. It can be comforting and reassuring to try to sort things into neat categories like "potato, not potato." I happen to love to organize junk drawers. I like things sorted and in nice little rows. I totally understand the appeal. Just the same, we're creating a lot of needless division and dysfunction, a lot of anxiety and chaos, by acting as if people, relationships, and events, can all be sorted into, "potato, not potato."

True story, one reason why scammers and spammers are still so successful is because they exploit our sense of urgency, our linear thinking. Hurry, act now! Click here before doom falls on your head! If you don't respond immediately, all will be lost!

This cool pastor once preached about how, "you don't have to choose." The only ones in the Bible who ever insist you "have to" choose, are the devil while he is tempting Jesus, and the pharisee when they are trying to trap Him. They all present false dichotomies, "potato, not potato" designed to trigger our linear thinking and force a choice. I've found "you don't have to choose" to be a really good rule for a whole lot of things in life. I'll never forget this coffee cup I once saw that said, "So if You worship me, it will all be Yours." Yeah, Jesus never said that, it's usually the enemy who passes out the ultimatums and false choices.

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