It feels like there's a bomb inside me,
that if I move even an inch, I'd explode.
The bomb contains anger, anxiety, agitation, jealousy, envy, guilt, hate, and feeling of unworthiness, and helplessness.
I moved, very cautiously, certain parts of my body (or mind) in such a way that it opens up a tiny opening from within me, allowing some of those volatile substances to leak out.
So I cried.
Or tried to. Because my eyes were barely wet—they were too afraid to even cry.
As if the lacrimal gland itself has numbed—numb, so numb.
I thought I was being composed,
but no, I'm simply numbed.
It wasn't a sedative—it's a fucking anaesthetic.
And I don't know how to wake up.
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