RelationDigest

Saturday, 23 April 2022

[New post] A matter of limits

Site logo image Nimue Brown posted: " I've always been wary of the kind of thinking that says there are no limits, we can have, or do, or be whatever we want. In practice, this can only be true if you are rich and healthy. Even then, you are likely to have to deal with aging, adversity and s"

A matter of limits

Nimue Brown

Apr 23

I've always been wary of the kind of thinking that says there are no limits, we can have, or do, or be whatever we want. In practice, this can only be true if you are rich and healthy. Even then, you are likely to have to deal with aging, adversity and some kinds of problems. Wanting something really hard isn't enough to get you there.

When I was a child, I really, really wanted to be Batman. I wanted to be able to do all the cool, gymnastic things Batman does. This body is hypermobile and doesn't work very well and also I hate being upside down. And I get vertigo. As the years have passed, I've become ever less interested in the idea of dealing with crime by punching people and much more interested in social justice and restorative justice. 

I'm all in favour of wanting things. I think it's good to go through this life having things you care passionately about, aspiring to stuff and wanting to do things. It helps to have the wisdom to know what you can realistically aspire to. I'm also a big fan of the low set bar, and the small goals that can be reached. They're a lot more rewarding.

There's humanity in finding our limits. It can be exciting pushing to the limits of what you can do - even if that isn't very much. There's precious self knowledge to be had around chasing after dreams. Wisdom and compassion can be learned when we try and we fall short of our intentions. Life isn't about being a limitless superbeing, it's about finding what we can do. Rather than imagining yourself to be limitless, we might be better placed trying to help remove restrictions from others so that everyone has more options. How many barriers can we take down? How much more space can we create for each other?

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