RelationDigest

Monday, 25 April 2022

[New post] The face you deserve

Site logo image Nimue Brown posted: " Most of us do not look at trees and make judgements about the lifestyle choices of the tree based on how it looks. If a tree has been brutally cut back, or afflicted with disease, or affected by wind we don't look at it and think that it was probably a w"

The face you deserve

Nimue Brown

Apr 25

Most of us do not look at trees and make judgements about the lifestyle choices of the tree based on how it looks. If a tree has been brutally cut back, or afflicted with disease, or affected by wind we don't look at it and think that it was probably a weak tree that made poor choices. We don't assume small trees clinging to thin mountain soil just aren't trying hard enough. When trees fall down in high winds we don't ascribe it to them being lazy.

I find it interesting to think about the ways in which we, as humans, choose to read other human bodies and faces. We like to associate beauty and virtue, and we do this a lot in our visual storytelling. We're not reliably compassionate when faced with obvious signs of poverty and distress. It's interesting to think about who we judge, and why.

I'm judgy around things that look mean spirited to me. People whose faces settle into permanent sneers. Things I read as unkindness. Human faces do get marked over time by the expressions that we habitually pull, but not everyone gets the face they deserve. Plenty of people are clearly able to smile cheerily while exploiting others. If you enjoy being cruel, then your face will bear happy smile lines, not obvious signs of brutality. The meanings we attach to faces are not reliable guides to anything much.

I think it's also interesting to consider why we hold different people to such different standards. What we excuse in someone who is apparently affluent, or very clever, or has power over us. What we denigrate in those who are less powerful. What we mock. It can be uncomfortable territory to explore, but it reveals a great deal. As a culture, we're much more inclined to judge marginal people for things we entirely excuse in the rich and famous - drunkenness, drug abuse, law breaking, corruption, fraud…

All too often what we're measuring when we think we're looking at other people for signs of virtue or morality, are actually signs of wealth and importance.

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