dunamisinspiration posted: " We are still on our Personality Compatibility episodes and in this Episode, we have another tough pair of temperaments to explore – a Choleric and Melancholic couple. CHOLERIC + MELANCHOLIC This combination is another example of a serious relat"
We are still on our Personality Compatibility episodes and in this Episode, we have another tough pair of temperaments to explore – a Choleric and Melancholic couple.
CHOLERIC + MELANCHOLIC
This combination is another example of a serious relationship. The Choleric is the serious extrovert, while the Mel is the serious introvert. When they come together in a relationship, there is nothing like jokes…it's only serious business.
Though these two temperaments do not attract naturally, because of their analytic nature, they will find reasons to pair up. Naturally, they are opposites, well maybe not strong opposites but one is extroverted and the other is introverted. They both don't believe in love at first sight so even before this kind of relationship can occur, there's some work to be done.
Both temperaments dislike each other's approach to life. The Mel doesn't like the Choleric's aggressive approach to life, while the Choleric hates the Mel's thinking and doing nothing approach to life. So what will cause them to fall in love? Head decision. This relationship might not be a matter of a heart choice. Why do you love him? Herrhh ade feel am…I just love him. You are not likely to get such a response. They both can give you reasons why they are dating each other. They go for each other because of what they have in common – seriousness. The Choleric sees the Mel as the one who will be serious enough to bring some thinking on the table. The Mel sees the Choleric as the one who can bring some action to his thoughts. In this case, they sit and analyze the Pros and Cons and decide that they will complement each other.
I have heard more than four Choleric husbands proclaim more than once that they married their partners for a particular reason, even though they really didn't have strong feelings for them. Though they seem different, they are likely to understand each other and make their relationship work. Of course, the Choleric is going to put some form of pressure on the Mel. The Mel doesn't necessarily hate pressure, but they only respond to pressure from themselves. They don't like external pressure as it makes them feel insulted bi saa no.
The Choleric's approach to life is to achieve his goals, and he doesn't care of he has to break some rules to get them. The Mel is a good planner, but his problem is perfectionism. The Mel has the best plans and ideas in the world, but they are reluctant to work them out because they feel it won't be executed perfectly. For the Mel, if it can't be done perfectly, it shouldn't be done at all. For the Choleric, if it has been thought of, it should be done. They don't waste ideas. The Mel doesn't like this attitude because they also fear failure and rejection; that's the Choleric's daily food. The reason most Melancholics don't venture into sales is that the first rejection can keep them discouraged forever. They feel if someone rejects their product, they are not good enough at what they do. They always want to get everything right but the Choleric doesn't care doing something wrong for 30 times…they will still keep trying.
If the woman is the Choleric and the guy is a Mel, it might be tougher than the other way round. The lady would often get frustrated with her bf's passiveness. The guy would feel his lady is trying to give him too much pressure and shun her. Provided that Choleric ladies are few, I'd handle this case from the Mel lady and Choleric guy perspective because I think that one has more potential to succeed than the inverse relationship.
Understanding is also key here. Like in all other relationships, these partners need to understand how they both view life and appreciate their uniqueness.
PROs
Complementary traits
The Mel and Choleric have traits that complement their weaknesses. Their differences can be turned into strengths by filling in the inadequacy gaps. They can make a very great team with the Mel being the thinker and the Choleric executing the plan. Generally, it's been said that though Mels love to work independently, they rarely do well alone when it comes to execution. Most Mels in business will hire Cholerics to drive their plans, and this relationship has a thinker and a driver right in there.
Their introversion and extroversion also helps their relationship not to be too boring, though it has the tendency to be just that. The Choleric's adventurous nature will push the Mel to get out of her comfort zone, which is her favourite place. As stated, these two might probably get together due to evaluation of benefits rather than feelings, which also helps them avoid the 'love is blind' phenomenon. Their love is witty, and they don't just do things out of feelings.
2. Loyalty
The Mel is naturally loyal in all endeavours of life, and relationship is not left out. The Choleric sees his relationship as one of his goals that he needs to accomplish, as a result, he commits to it. Because both partners are serious, they are ready to commit to their relationship and make it work. The few couples I know in this category are not doing bad, and yh, they confirmed that they took their relationships really serious before they ended up getting married.
3. Achievers
There is no doubt that these people have a good chance of having a fruitful relationship. They are both looking to achieve their goals, and if they can work together, they can achieve a lot in their relationship, including helping each other grow in their personal lives.
CONs
Different traits
Ok, yh, I know I said this is a Pro, but it is also a big challenge in relationships. Given the fact that Cholerics are difficult people, and Mels believe their attitudes are the best, understanding each other becomes a problem. Though if this bridge is crossed, they complement each other perfectly, let's face reality and ask…what if they don't get to understand each other? Then problem don come o.
The Choleric thinks the Mel is too relaxed and waiting for life to happen. The Mel thinks the Choleric needs to slow down in life. They both want to achieve their goals, but they both have different approaches. It becomes difficult for both to support each other because life becomes too overwhelming for the Mel who does not subscribe to her partner doing too many things. The Choleric also gets frustrated that his bae is living in her comfort zone and doesn't want to push herself. The Choleric is hard, the Mel is not necessarily hard, but she's hard on herself and soft outside. The Choleric reads that as a weakness and tries to dominate her, which irritates her a lot. Las las, if they don't come to a consensus, they go their separate ways.
2. Hurting feelings
It's to be expected. This relationship will lack appreciation of couples because the Mel who is a perfectionist will focus on the speck that does not make a work perfect. The Choleric is also a hard guy who does not consider feelings in his speech. He's a straightforward guy who can easily hurt a Mel lady who easily gets discouraged.
I heard a story about a Mel who barely appreciated the efforts of her partner. One day, he (the Choleric guy) decided to surprise his wife by doing all the house chores and cooking just to get a warm hug and words of affirmation from his wife. Ladies and gentlemen, the wife got home and saw a strand of hair and that was it. She complained about that and ignored all the good work of her husband.
It's frustrating how perfection looks like a good trait, but sometimes that's where all the problem comes from. The Choleric on the other hand struggles to be kind and express words of affirmation especially when the Mel really needs it. The Mel easily gets discouraged and the Choleric doesn't help that negative attribute.
3. Independence
The Mel believes in doing things alone, the Choleric sometimes doesn't see the Mel as aggressive enough to pursue his goals together with. There is a high tendency of both parties to work in isolation and be ignorant of what is really going on in their lives. The Mel will likely not be in support of the ideas of the Choleric and will not pursue the same path with them. Inasmuch as we don't lose our individualism in relationships, when it comes to goals, couples are a team and must work together. That's a problem in this relationship.
RATING
I think this is a 50-50 relationship and I will rate it at 50%. It won't work automatically but that doesn't disprove the fact that it has great potential to be a good one.
What's your take, and how would you rate this one? Do you have any experiences you would want to share? Look sharp!
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