taurusingemini posted: " On defining what true love is, for oneself, and not let anybody else's versions of "true love" help you define what true love should be to you. Finding the true love that's, right for us, individually, translated… On this very evening, my good f"
On defining what true love is, for oneself, and not let anybody else's versions of "true love" help you define what true love should be to you. Finding the true love that's, right for us, individually, translated…
On this very evening, my good friend, G sent me the message, "how can you be absolutely certain, that the one you're waking up next to in the mornings is the 'one true love' for you?", I was stumped, and thought of how she is on the verge of getting married, and as I was about to share my thoughts of how it was with me, as a soon-to-be wedded bride, I'd scanned to the book I just finished, "Klara & the Sun", which made me give up the thought, on giving her my experience, and started talking to G about this story:
Klara is an artificial-intelligent robot, originally bought by the mother, Kris, to be her daughter, Josie's companion, and yet, Kris was persuaded by a friend attempted to use the ability to learn of the artificial intelligence means, and made Klara into a sort of a clone of her daughter, and in the end, Klara was able to continue Josie's life, not as a clone, but as, a replacement.
"It sounds shocking, but what does it have to do with true love?"
A lot of people have that mythical belief of "true love is unique". And yet, in the novel, the writer, Ishiguro has an interesting way of proving what "unique" entailed. On the one hand, the friend of Kris's, Capaldi's belief: there's nobody "who is" your true love. As for the other side, it's Klara's beliefs, she'd denied that she has what it takes to replace Josie, but still believed "there's something so special, but it isn't inside Josie, but in everybody who loves her."
the book cover for Klara & the Sun by Ishiguro, from online
To here, I'd returned back to G's question, "you asked me how to be sure that the other person is your 'one true love'?", my answer is similar to Capaldi's, that there's NO one in this world that's your "true" love. Like me, I could've chosen someone else to marry, it's just, that I'd decided, to marry Mr. Wang, it's a matter of the time being, nothing more."
I'd turned the conversation then, "but I wouldn't tell you, that 'true love' doesn't exist. In reality, the answer is in Klara's understanding. Although I wasn't set on firmly marrying Mr. Wang, but after we were wed, those days filled with only him in my life, it'd, made him more and more special to me by the day. So, the key is not on meeting your 'one and only', but how much you share with him later, the memories that are unique to, just, the two of you. it's this unique connection, shared by you both, that will, separate you and your husband, with the rest of other couples, becoming irreplaceable to you in life. There's no need to persist on marrying your true love, you just need to ask yourself, will I be willing to work with this other person, to create more memories that are, unique to the two of us in the future—so long as that determination's set, then, one day in the future, he 'will become', your 'one and only true love."
illustration from UDN.com
The night's deep now, I'd, turned off my cell phone, looked over at that man that's, snoring next to me. The preciousness of love, comes from the accumulations of the daily living, the littlest things we shared in our ordinary life together. Our happily ever after didn't freeze in that freeze frame the moment we walked down the aisle, and, marriage isn't always, a given. Compared to that gone-in-a-moment-too-soon romantic infatuation, true love is more like a fine wine, gets better with the time, and, only when both works hard in making the wine together, they can, in many years from now, share the memories they'd made, all the way, to where they are right now.
And so, this is on what sort of a love you want: the passions, the at-first-sight attractions? Or, would you much rather prefer someone with who you wouldn't mind waking up next to in the morn, despite how s/he has the annoying little habits that sometimes, drives you nuts?
How you make it work, what comes later after the "I do", that's, what's more important, than all the rituals of marriage, the I love you, showering you with gifts, roses, chocolates, blah, blah, blah.
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