Chang­ing Ways You Are Used To

Mixed feel­ings, who does not have them. We all are fa­mil­iar with the mo­ments we are start­ing some­thing new, from a new way of liv­ing. Or from a new start to make, or the first time we un­der­take a new ad­ven­ture, small or big.

Step­ping out of the nor­mal, into a new ex­pe­ri­ence. Not al­ways cho­sen, and not al­ways from a happy place. The more when it re­lates to the loss of some­one loved dearly. Not al­ways caused by death, also by di­vorce in any way or form. The bit­ter­sweet taste of cre­at­ing new mem­o­ries as well. It comes and goes, like a wave or some­times a storm and lots of tur­moil. It is some­thing we know it might hap­pen and will ap­pear, yet at times it also can take you by sur­prise, at least ex­pected mo­ments.

The more we are con­nected by heart, the harder it feels to have to build a new life and new mem­o­ries where the other loved one no longer is pre­sent in. Maybe even for those who go through a sep­a­ra­tion or di­vorce of some kind, both par­ties might have the same bit­ter­sweet feel­ings. We al­ways re­mem­ber the good as well the bad times, yet over time, mostly the good pre­vail.

Ap­par­ently, it is not so much con­nected with time, as well the way we are still con­nected and miss­ing the pres­ence of the other. We all know those first times with­out some­one we love, are al­ways the hard­est to tackle. Our life is one string with let­ting go, go­ing through changes, and ad­just­ing or adapt­ing to them.

It all starts with birth and we go through all our dif­fer­ent phases grow­ing up, which will be eas­ier for some than oth­ers. It also de­pends on how you can han­dle new sit­u­a­tions. This is part of our char­ac­ter and emo­tional state as well, which might make a dif­fer­ence. The way we deal with emo­tions like pain and hurt will also be a big com­po­nent, in the way we are able to deal with changes and loss.

So, for those who are hav­ing more dif­fi­culty deal­ing with the hard­ships of life, beauty and love are dif­fer­ent per­ceived. Mixed feel­ings like the sor­row of loss and the joy of an event en­ter­ing a new phase in your life are a big chal­lenge. Will you be able to choose the new way of life, a new ex­pe­ri­ence that feels good and cre­ates new pos­si­bil­i­ties? Or will they trig­ger the pain and loss in such a way, you will feel lost and worth­less, or dis­abled to en­joy?

We can ac­cept the emo­tions to come up and let them be ac­knowl­edged, as well to let them go as well. Love is a mas­ter key in this process. Not only the love you have felt for some­one else that is no longer part of your life. Love for your­self is as im­por­tant as well, for that will en­able you to move for­ward. In­stead of stay­ing in the limbo of the mixed feel­ings, so it may work its way in a lov­ing out­come to move through the emo­tions.

Not hold­ing on to the sor­row and pain, yet to ac­knowl­edge the love there was in the known ways. To bring that Love into the new ways of how you will cre­ate your life again, will as­sist in mov­ing for­ward and through. To some that might seem like an im­pos­si­ble task at hand. Feel­ing frozen and par­a­lyzed by the in­tense emo­tion's griev­ance of any kind works.

Be­cause our life is also de­ter­mined through our health, not just our emo­tional state of mind. We are more than just emo­tions, or thoughts, or phys­i­cal aware­ness. All of these are con­nected and in­ner twined with each other. Every loss will be per­ceived with pain, sor­row and we only can learn how to deal with these chal­lenges in our life. Los­ing your health due to an ill­ness or an ac­ci­dent, los­ing your abil­ity to func­tion with­out the as­sis­tance of oth­ers.

All are part of the cy­cle and all will bring up a sense of loss, there­fore the griev­ing process as well. All the more when the changes are be­com­ing a per­ma­nent part of our lives. Every mo­ment we are be­ing chal­lenged to re­cover from an ill­ness, a surgery, or loss of some­one dear and close, we im­me­di­ately face the trial that comes with them. How will we be able to pick up the pieces of our­selves and start mov­ing again to cre­ate the most pos­i­tive out­come?

Re­cov­ery and train­ing to be able to use your body again, maybe not in the way you were ac­cus­tomed to, yet in a way that brings up more re­ward­ing emo­tions and free­dom to live will bring up these mixed emo­tions. Sor­row and Joy, of­ten walk hand in hand dur­ing chal­leng­ing times. It is up to us, how to deal with them.

Even when you are in a process that will lead to a tran­si­tion, might bring you mo­ments of joy, even in the hard­est times. If you can en­joy even the small­est gifts life has to of­fer, it will be cre­at­ing the bridge be­tween sor­row and joy, grat­i­tude for what is, in­stead of what has been lost.

Is this an easy path­way? Not for me al­ways. I keep strug­gling with the ac­cep­tance as well to ac­knowl­edge the fact my body is not work­ing to an ex­tent, I will be in­de­pen­dent. Yet I also am ever so grate­ful that I can rely on the as­sis­tance of oth­ers, care­tak­ers if you will. These are the things that al­low me to main­tain a cer­tain bal­ance be­tween the sor­row and the joy of what I am still able to do.

It also de­mands of me to be lov­ing and have pa­tience with my­self. These are the key in­gre­di­ents that will al­low me to be in a most flow­ing move­ment on a day-to-day ba­sis. Every fric­tion caused by anger, fear, anx­i­ety, or an­other emo­tion that is not up­lift­ing for my state of mind, will have a neg­a­tive ef­fect on my well­be­ing. In every sense, on every level.

Cre­at­ing a new life with­out a lov­ing part­ner, or as a sin­gle also has its chal­lenges to deal with. For me, these mo­ments in time, every first time, is an ex­pe­ri­ence that is al­ways filled with these mixed emo­tions. Some­times the sor­row will be more up­front, other times the joy of achieve­ment is bring­ing back in the lov­ing and heal­ing en­ergy. This is the path I choose, through the mo­tions that is called life, my life.

Ac­knowl­edg­ment and ac­cep­tance through the strive, en­abling the emo­tions to come to the front first. Then also see the beauty in it, for the tears I shed are also clear­ing my soul and cleanse my heart. All this will cre­ate space within my­self, every time I choose Lov­ing care of My­self. To be filled with all the Love I al­ready have re­ceived so far and the Love there is still to come.

So, it will be done.

High Self @RheaD­op­mei­jer ©

Heart­felt Mes­sages