GG and I had our 1 year anniversary at the weekend. To celebrate, we are taking a trip this weekend up to our favourite place. But I'm worried that it's just a plaster for the many cracks that keep appearing.

I'm trying to overlook. I'm trying to forgive. I'm trying to gain perspective. I'm trying to be unbiased. I'm trying to identify if this is self-sabotage and work on my own internal conflicts.

Im super quick to be turned off. I'm guilty of seeing a behaviour I don't like and walking in the opposite direction. Blunt. Brutal. But I've been working on this and trying to be more rational, and understand that we are human, not perfect. And that is especially true for any mate of mine.

Whether this weekend is a plaster or not, I'm hoping we can reconnect. But looking back It's easy to see that the whole relationship has been built on positive experiences only which leads me to wonder…

….Have I ever been truly happy here?

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