My dog Sunny was my first dog and he was most precious to me.  I loved him so much. I spoiled him like crazy and I would dress him up. I walked him at least once per day. I would make him home made food and buy him the best dog food out there. I got his teeth professionally cleaned and I believed he was going to live as long as his parents lived til 16 years old. But little did I know at age 9 he developed a lump and it got big and I decided it was time for it to be removed. He got blood tests before his surgery and he was all good,  but two months later he got actute leukemia( blood cancer) and this is how it first happened I had a feeling something was wrong because he lost 20 pounds after his surgery. It began with this gut feeling yo notify the vet that something I'd off about him!  Then a blood test was drawn and that was when they found out he had blood cancer. I didn't expect cancer but I felt in my spirit it was his time to go and for me to say goodbye, but my logic was that he was only 9 and he was too young to die. I had believed he would live a long healthy life, at least til 16. He was a good dog, and it was hard to find another good dog. I was heart broken. But I knew God told me it was his time to go. But I decided to try ro do something and try to save him. I took him to an oncologist- a cancer specialist to see what they can do for him, but because it was acute it was pretty much too late for him. I called around seeking for help and I bought some holistic supplements to give him in ways to try to save him. I wanted to try anything to make him well! I was heartbroken because the cancer was defeating him and he was deteriorating quickly.

When Sunny passed I felt this peace. God was comforting me and this sense of being held by God. God cared. It was a beautiful feeling and I couldn't feel the complete pain of my dogs death that day. Loss is hard but we all will have to face it in our lives. But what I experienced from God was comforting to me.

Our feelings and emotions matter. Sometimes people believe your emotions don't matter as a Christian but feelings and emotions do matter. Of course, there are negative emotions and some emotions can deceive and trick us but there are also the good emotions that we need. They are a part of our human experience. They are essential for our experiences in life. God gave us feelings and emotions for a reason.

Jesus showed his emotions; it was written in the Bible when he wept at Lazarus death, it is interesting because he felt their sadness when Lazarus died. But he also knew that he was going to bring him back to life. But Jesus wept anyways, and some people saw how much he loved Lazarus. "Jesus wept. So the Jews said, "See how he loved him!" John 11:35‭-‬36. But, after some people questioned Jesus why he allowed him to die in the first place, "But some of them said, "Could not he who opened the eyes of the blind man also have kept this man from dying?" John 11:37. But, later  Jesus brought him back to life! Jesus doesn't bring everyone back to life, but He did promise all that believe in Him will have eternal life because He is the resurrection and life.

What if Jesus didn't weep? Wouldn't that seem like he didn't care? I would think so even though he was planning to bring him back to life he still showed his emotion that he cared.  Some people can see emotions in different ways and there are different ways to express it. Some say it's weakness while others say it's a strength.

We too can learn from Jesus by showing our emotions. This doesn't mean we are being controlled or led by our emotions. When Jesus said we are to die to ourself this included to die to our selfishness and surrender our feelings to Him. I could have been mad at God for losing my dog but I understood I had to surrender it instead. I had to learn to be okay, to cry it out, our emotions can make us stronger and it's better to let it all out then hold it all in.

As a kid, I was afraid to cry and I thought some emotions were bad and I didn't know how to handle what I felt inside. I was out of tune with my emotions and I struggled with expressing them and because of that I would get angry and frustrated. We need to see our feeling and emotions as a form of art and it's something we create it's an expression. It's like music or a dance there is a tune for each mood.  Without feelings life wouldn't be the same. Our feelings and emotions matter and it's good to have them. Jesus proved it to us by showing an emotion that he cares. It was an art of expression of love ❤

( picture of Sunny at the Vet)